a heck of a lotta random fic
Dec. 14th, 2005 06:44 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
luchiaI'm taking a break from studying, and during this break I've decided to put up some snippets I've had written for, like, EVER of plotbunnies and whatnot. So, enjoy!
TITLE: If
FANDOM: PotC/Peter Pan (but works, strangely enough...)
WARNINGS: Slash. Of the nummy Sparrington type. And, of course, crack!fic crossover.
This will have: Sparrington, which means slash betwixt Norrington and Sparrow and all that it entails. Magic. Fairies. The good commodore facing the fact he has pirate lineage. The good captain facing the fact he doesn’t. And, of course, the insanity that can be found in every crossover known to mankind.
If
A Pirates of the Caribbean/ Peter Pan crossover
Prologue
Some time ago, in a land far, far away, where imagination is king, there was a war.
This wasn’t a war as we know it now, where one country fights another for king and country. No, this was a war for survival. Survival, and the simple glory of life.
Now, our story isn’t entirely concerned with the war itself. No, we’re looking at the people involved. Or, more specifically, two people.
The first boy was lost, just like all his brothers. He led them into the war with a lopsided grin and their hero at his side. Where their hero was the eternal boy, he was the wild, untamable rogue. He was freedom. They were actual brothers unlike the rest, the two lost boys, united by blood forever.
The second boy wasn’t lost in this land- he was born there. The first and only child to have this happen, too. The boy was born to Ursula, the “whore who’s more”, as the men called her. Nobody knew who the father was, so naturally it was assumed he was the son of their leader. The leader took him in and brought him up, and the world went on.
It was in battle that the two met, both slightly behind their people’s leaders, yet still far in front.
“Well, Peter,” the leader grinned, and the boy hero smiled back, green clothes rustling in the slight breeze. “You’ve not met my son.” The hero paused, and the leader’s hook motioned the second boy up to the front. The leader’s head twisted a bit to the side. “James, meet Peter Pan.”
With the straight face his father had burned into him, the second nodded. “Good evening, Pan.”
As the hero bristled at the thought of a boy being raised by his nemesis, the wild boy’s chocolate eyes met the stony second’s green, and something happened. It was like a hazy curtain had blocked out the rest of their world.
The first grinned, bowing his head slightly, almost mocking. “Jack Pan.”
The second nodded, a near invisible smile on his lips. “James Hook.”
And then their leaders’ swords flashed out and the moment was over, but not forgotten. As their leaders fought each other, so did the two boys, smiling. There was a connection, they both knew.
And as the telltale tick-tock of his father’s greatest fear approached, the fighting switched to pandemonium. Nobody noticed when the first boy grabbed the second’s hand and pulled him back to the lost boys. And when they finally did, the point of the wild boy’s sword convinced them to accept it.
But that night, the true brothers had their first and last fight, one that would echo through the eternal, timeless spring of the land.
“Don’t you understand, Jack?” the hero raged at him, the lamps out long ago. “He’s a pirate! We kill pirates! It’s what we do! And even worse, he’s Hook’s SON!”
“Peter, I don’t think you’re lookin’ at it the right way,” the wild boy’s voice coaxed. “He is Hook’s son. So why not use that to our advantage, eh?”
“Because, Jack, can’t you see?” There was a pause as the first boy shook his head. “You found something in him. I’ve never…I’ve never seen you like this before. And it’ll destroy us all.”
“But-”
“Jack. Brother. I love you as only a brother could, but you have to leave. Both of you. Now.”
And the moment of understanding stretched on. After a hurt, angry silence, the wild boy ran from the tree of lost boys and threw himself into the sea, swimming through the ocean of tears back into the real world, praying to forget.
In a fit of vengeful rage for what he’d had to do to his brother, the young hero quickly scouted out the forbidden pirate child, who lay sleeping in his brother’s small house.
“How could you have done all this in one night,” the hero hissed, and without a second thought plunged his singing golden sword into the sleeping child’s chest. Green eyes blinked up at him, but the scabbard was filled once more, and the hero threw him into the sea as well, to follow the hero’s brother into the other world.
That night, in the land far, far away, the hero cried for the first time, and a young fairy called Tinkerbell followed the sound to meet Peter Pan.
That morning, the war escalated into something fierce, the rage and shadow of the nemeses’ lost families drenching the soil and seas of the land with blood.
That afternoon, the Norrington family was blessed with a startled boy blinking up at them from their porch.
And a young boy answering to the name Jack clambered up onto a dock, confused and grinning, without a memory in the world.
The world moved on.
----
TITLE: Reality in Alteration
FANDOM: Naruto
WARNINGS: Again with the slash. And profanity, but that's kinda obvious.
Summary: A jutsu experiment sends Team 7 into a dark world where Naruto’s been hokage of the ruined Konoha since he was 13, Sasuke murdered Itachi at 9, and Sakura’s trying to kill both of them. What’s going on? And how can they get back to their own world, when they barely know how they got there in the first place? SasuNaru, SakuIno (yep, femslash. It’s new to me too…)
Reality in Alteration
Revelation 1- Underneath the Rivalry
Sasuke eyed the scroll hesitantly, lips creased in a frown.
“Oh come on, it’s just a genjutsu scroll!” Sakura stamped impatiently, mint eyes rolling at her teammates.
Naruto squinted at the scroll, and Sasuke’s head tilted another 3.2 degrees to the right- a sign of intense contemplation if there ever was one. “But Sakura-chan, I don’t get it.”
“What’s there to get?” Sakura defended. “It’s a brilliant genjutsu scroll!”
“Which was found in Orochimaru’s basement,” Sasuke added, adding another 1.4 degrees to the head-tilt.
“That’s just proof it’s brilliant! Sasuke, in all the time you were there, did you ever see anything there that wasn’t years ahead of everything chuunin-rank ninja know?” Sakura coaxed, brushing a bit of her short pink hair behind a newly pierced ear.
His midnight eyes looked right at her, a forceful bland expression on his still-tilted head. “I never saw anything that wasn’t malicious or evil, either,” he stated. “Or harmless.”
Naruto was still examining the scroll, scratching his head. “What’s this about…alteration?” He frowned. “I still don’t get it. How is this a brilliant genjutsu?”
The head-tilt turned to a full-fledged 5 degrees. “That’s what I’d like to know.”
Sakura’s eyes rolled again. “It’s a genjutsu that doesn’t just alter the perception of the target, it alters the thing being perceived!”
Naruto grinned. “Sounds like you don’t get it either!”
“It can’t be a genjutsu then,” Sasuke said, ignoring Sakura’s reaction and (since none of them seemed to notice his head-tiltage) went an extreme 10 degrees, and Naruto stopped fending off Sakura’s super-charged fists to turn towards his rival. “Ninjutsu alter outside elements, genjutsu alter mental elements, taijutsu alter physical elements.”
“I KNOW that,” Sakura snapped, and sat back down on her side of the scroll, still flushed from her attack on the blonde. “But what else could it be with all these attributes? ‘Mental displacement’, ‘truth in deception’, ‘reality in alteration’? If that’s not genjutsu, I don’t know what it is.”
“Exactly,” Sasuke said, and Sakura glared at him.
“No matter what we say, she’s gonna do it anyway,” Naruto shrugged to his rival, who frowned. “I say we just help her and make sure she doesn’t blow anything up this time.”
“That was ONCE, and it was an explosive ninjutsu anyway,” Sakura muttered.
“And if it goes wrong, you can take us to the hospital,” Sasuke added, the fact Naruto was practically indestructible ingrained in his memory ever since a boulder had literally squashed him, and only left the demon vessel with a nasty bruise on his back.
“Alright then! It’s decided,” Naruto grinned, and turned towards Sakura. “So! What now?”
She shrugged, smiling brightly. “We do the jutsu. Honestly, you two are such pessimists. How bad could it possibly be?”
Surprisingly used to this sort of thing, Naruto and Sasuke flanked their pink-haired teammate as she began the seals, and finally slammed her hand onto the scroll, shouting out “OUSHI BESSEKAI NO JUTSU!”
A blinding black flash erupted from the scroll, consuming the three of them.
x---x
When Naruto’s eyes opened, they were greeted with Sasuke glaring down at him from heaven, a blue halo of sky bringing out the navy accents in his hair. “Get up, dobe.”
He complied, looking around gob smacked. Yes, they were still in Sakura’s apartment, except it now had no roof, no furniture, and what had once been two windowed, structurally necessary walls was now a gaping hole that showed them that the rest of this Konoha district in equal disrepair.
“This is a fucking WEIRD genjutsu,” Naruto muttered, and Sasuke nodded, scrounging around the room for anything that could be useful…oh, hey. “Where’s Sakura-chan?”
“She wasn’t here when I woke up, but she left a note,” he said, negligently holding up a slip of paper with Sakura’s distinctive handwriting on it. “Says she needs to investigate something and will meet us for dinner near our tree.”
‘OUR tree’ was something Kakashi had smashed into their heads by giving them a nondescript, out-of-town meeting place so that if they ever needed to speak privately, they had an ideal location for it. And, of course, “dinner” meant at 7:22 PM exactly- another code that they’d grown so used to using on the road that they didn’t even try to avoid it anymore.
“So what do we do then? Just sit around and wait for her to come get us out of the jutsu?”
Sasuke shrugged, finally picking up a misplaced shuriken from the dirty floor and slipping it into his weapons pouch. “I’m going to explore. I want to know more about the genjutsu, since the scroll was so vague.”
“Yeah, yeah,” Naruto nodded, and shrugged. “I might as well do that too.” Stretching for a moment, the blonde grinned at his rival. “Never know when Orochimaru and his tongue might come after you- you sure you’re okay to run away?”
Sasuke snorted. “You sure you have enough brain cells left to not slam into a tree, dobe? You were just knocked out by a genjutsu, after all.”
Translation? Be careful, idiot. You die, I’ll kill you.
The two smirked at each other, and tore off in opposite directions.
It wasn’t too long until Naruto found himself in the forest outside Konoha, grinning to himself as Sasuke’s all-to-familiar chakra could be felt chasing after him. Apparently it was time to regroup and do that whole ‘information gathering’ thing. Either that, or the Uchiha was bored and wanted to spar. Hell, he was fine with either. Naruto would never admit it, but Sasuke was fun to be around, even if it was just because of the enjoyment he got from driving the sullen boy insane.
Grinning, Naruto dropped down from the tree branches and onto the forest floor. It was more fun to fight Sasuke on solid ground, simply because Sasuke got closer and made funny growling noises when they fought on hard ground.
He didn’t have to wait long, either- Sasuke was suddenly THERE in front of him (Naruto couldn’t remember him being that silent before; he’d need to train more to keep up with the genius’ stealth skills, apparently). Now wearing baggy black pants instead of his usual shorts, he smirked at Naruto.
“Shirking as usual, I see,” Sasuke said, arms crossed over his shirt and just looking WEIRD to Naruto- or was it at? There was definitely something new in those charcoal eyes.
“I’m not shirking. I’m still exploring, bastard,” Naruto grinned as Sasuke walked towards him. “What are YOU doing? Just chasing me around?”
Sasuke’s smirk turned predatory. “That’s not all I’m doing, hopefully.”
…when had Sasuke gotten so close?
Sakura, Naruto decided as Sasuke shoved him against the tree’s rough bark and continued to try and suffocate him with his tongue, was going to die. This, he determined as Sasuke ground up against him and Naruto couldn’t help but moan into the dark-haired teen’s smirking mouth, had been a bad idea, no matter how smart Sakura and Sasuke- oh god, SASUKE- were.
But as soon as the blonde felt his teammate’s hand go from his waist down to the zipper on his pants, Naruto shrieked (yes, SHRIEKED, a sound that any banshee would have been proud to make) and shoved him away. Startled black eyes widened as Sasuke slammed into the adjacent tree, making some of the bark crack off from the force of it, leaves falling from the branches as Sasuke glared up at Naruto.
“What the fuck was that for?!”
Naruto gaped at him. “WHAT WAS THAT FOR?! WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU!” Naruto screamed, a panicked finger pointing shakily at his rival. “You…you…KISSED ME, you bastard!”
A stare was all he received. Still in shock from the FAR too pleasant activity that’d just been ended rather abruptly, Naruto was breathing harshly, shaking all over and close to either beating the shit out of Sasuke or having a panic attack or just jumping him again- which in itself was making him more inclined towards either beating the shit out of Sasuke or curling up into a fetal position and screaming for a few hours.
After a few more minutes, Sasuke shoved his hands into his pockets and walked towards Naruto. “Moron,” he scoffed. “What’s the brain trauma from this time?”
“I SHOULD ASK YOU THAT, ASSHOLE!” Naruto barked out, and Sasuke’s amused smirk seemed to completely ignore his outburst.
“Need me to carry you to the medic-nin?”
Naruto scurried backwards, right into the tree from- something he wasn’t thinking about. “STAY AWAY FROM ME, BASTARD!”
Sasuke rolled his eyes- holy crap, did Sasuke even KNOW how to do that?- at Naruto. “Oh yes, that’s going to stop me. Insult me and run away. Very noble, hokage-san.”
Naruto’s mouth began its impression of a flailing, dying fish. “Huh?”
Before the blonde could notice, Sasuke had scooped him up (which was actually rather amusing, seeing as Naruto was about 3 inches taller and 20 pounds heavier) and was jumping along through the trees. “You’re going to get yourself killed one of these days, idiot, with how many trees you fall out of.”
And that was when Naruto realized that Sasuke’s seal was missing. The seal that Orochimaru left so long ago. The seal that Couldn’t Come Off, no matter what anyone tried.
“Sasuke,” Naruto’s voice sounded strained, even to his own ears. “I have a concussion, and my memory’s fuzzy and all that shit, so tell me about me and…and you.”
Sasuke snorted. “What’s there to tell, dumbass? You’re hokage, I’m head Anbu, and we’ve been married since we were 15.”
And that was about when Naruto passed out.
-----
TITLE: Coffee Service
FANDOM: Stargate: Atlantis
WARNINGS: I WROTE GEN.! Yes, that's right, ladies and gentlemen, no real pairing, only a cute little friendship fic! *moment to gloat* (Of course, could be taken as pre-slash, but hey.)
Coffee Service
Coffee. Ask anyone and they’ll tell you it’s addictive. Ask me, and I’ll tell you about how slowly my body’s become dependant on the caffeine received from it, how when Italian merchants tried to ban the stuff to protect their wine even the pope himself got addicted to it, baptized the concoction, and proclaimed it a truly Christian beverage. I’ll tell you how coffee is an unstoppable force of nature. I’ll tell you how coffee is both the devil and pure genius for what it does to the human body.
I’ll also tell you that I had never had a truly good cup of coffee until I met Major Lieutenant Colonel Whatever-He-Is-Now John Sheppard.
The coffee he makes is…it’s bliss in a beverage. I have no idea how he does it, and he refuses to tell me, and I’m damned if I can’t help but drink all of it before I can analyze whatever it is he gives me.
I tried to stop myself from drinking it one day, to see what he does to it to make the coffee so damn delicious. It had to be laced with something, I thought. Maybe speed, for what it did to me. Maybe alcohol. Maybe even some nicotine, to make me crave it so much.
One cup a day is all he gives me. One measly cup a day. I never see him drinking his coffee (he has a special set of mugs apparently, a nice light blue ceramic that’s never too hot or cold when you hold it, just a nice warm tingly feeling, and in two and a half years I’ve never gotten a cup from a different set), but I know he’s just hoarding it away. Damn coffee dragon.
The first time I got his cursedly perfect coffee was the first morning on Atlantis, actually. I was “messing around” in the control room as he tells it, even though I know it was obviously important if I even bothered to do it, and I was naturally kind of pissed at him for evading me when I needed his ATA gene to turn the Ancient technology on. Thank god those days are over.
“Morning, McKay,” he said, grinning and holding out a single light blue mug while his hair tried to do an impression of angry road kill.
I eyed it carefully. “What is this, some sort of bribe to escape the exploitation of your genetics?”
“It’s coffee,” Sheppard said easily, still smiling. He does that a lot, apparently. “You know, highly caffeinated ground bean beverage. Good for snarky scientists at whatever-the-time-is. Figured you could use some.”
“I’m amazed, Major. Proof that your mind has deductive capabilities, it’s truly a staggering thought,” I sniped. “Will wonders never cease.”
“I am amazingly wonderful, aren’t I?” he nodded in that annoyingly, boyishly charming way, and I grabbed the coffee.
And that was when it started.
Every morning one of us isn’t dead or dying (usually me, actually, and usually in the process of saving his moronic, self-sacrificing ass) or on a mission, he shows up with that sinfully perfect cup of coffee and just enough intelligence for me to actually not mind his company. Usually.
Except, sometimes it isn’t in the morning. Sometimes I get two cups, when we’re up all night saving the city and Earth in the process. And after I reach the 36-hour point, if the man’s still around and not trying to heroically commit suicide like the idiot he is, he’ll give me a mug of coffee every four hours. And at the 72-hour point, all I’ve got to do is get his ass moving.
There are times, of course, when I don’t get my coffee. There was this one time that we were trapped in a cave with a bullet-proof saber tooth tiger the size of a dump truck trying to eat us. And then there’s the times we’ve been captured by the hostile natives of the day, the times when we’re quarantined or stuck or trapped in a random area.
And of course the times when John Sheppard has to play martyr and get himself as close as possible to death’s door and can’t give me coffee.
Which is, naturally, why I sit by his bed. I’m just waiting for him to wake up so he can make me my coffee. Honestly.
Okay, fine. I admit it. True, the coffee’s amazing, but so is the company. It’s not just the coffee I look forward to, it’s the service that goes along with it. There, you happy?
So maybe it’s not just the coffee I’m addicted to. Maybe it’s just the fact that Major-Colonel-Whatever Sheppard is interesting and can actually manage to hold a decent conversation, even though our conversations sound more like very odd arguments. Maybe it’s the fact he actually manages to make sure I’m not infected with some alien flu, and that I don’t get lemon in my coffee (yes, it has happened. Zelenka has the taste of a fungus), and that every now and then he’ll drink coffee with me when he brings it. Maybe it’s the fact that John actually seems to care, and that I can’t help caring too.
Maybe it’s the friendship that comes along with the coffee that’s so pleasant.
----
I'll do more later, promise. But now? Ice cream time. Oyesh.
TITLE: If
FANDOM: PotC/Peter Pan (but works, strangely enough...)
WARNINGS: Slash. Of the nummy Sparrington type. And, of course, crack!fic crossover.
This will have: Sparrington, which means slash betwixt Norrington and Sparrow and all that it entails. Magic. Fairies. The good commodore facing the fact he has pirate lineage. The good captain facing the fact he doesn’t. And, of course, the insanity that can be found in every crossover known to mankind.
If
A Pirates of the Caribbean/ Peter Pan crossover
Prologue
Some time ago, in a land far, far away, where imagination is king, there was a war.
This wasn’t a war as we know it now, where one country fights another for king and country. No, this was a war for survival. Survival, and the simple glory of life.
Now, our story isn’t entirely concerned with the war itself. No, we’re looking at the people involved. Or, more specifically, two people.
The first boy was lost, just like all his brothers. He led them into the war with a lopsided grin and their hero at his side. Where their hero was the eternal boy, he was the wild, untamable rogue. He was freedom. They were actual brothers unlike the rest, the two lost boys, united by blood forever.
The second boy wasn’t lost in this land- he was born there. The first and only child to have this happen, too. The boy was born to Ursula, the “whore who’s more”, as the men called her. Nobody knew who the father was, so naturally it was assumed he was the son of their leader. The leader took him in and brought him up, and the world went on.
It was in battle that the two met, both slightly behind their people’s leaders, yet still far in front.
“Well, Peter,” the leader grinned, and the boy hero smiled back, green clothes rustling in the slight breeze. “You’ve not met my son.” The hero paused, and the leader’s hook motioned the second boy up to the front. The leader’s head twisted a bit to the side. “James, meet Peter Pan.”
With the straight face his father had burned into him, the second nodded. “Good evening, Pan.”
As the hero bristled at the thought of a boy being raised by his nemesis, the wild boy’s chocolate eyes met the stony second’s green, and something happened. It was like a hazy curtain had blocked out the rest of their world.
The first grinned, bowing his head slightly, almost mocking. “Jack Pan.”
The second nodded, a near invisible smile on his lips. “James Hook.”
And then their leaders’ swords flashed out and the moment was over, but not forgotten. As their leaders fought each other, so did the two boys, smiling. There was a connection, they both knew.
And as the telltale tick-tock of his father’s greatest fear approached, the fighting switched to pandemonium. Nobody noticed when the first boy grabbed the second’s hand and pulled him back to the lost boys. And when they finally did, the point of the wild boy’s sword convinced them to accept it.
But that night, the true brothers had their first and last fight, one that would echo through the eternal, timeless spring of the land.
“Don’t you understand, Jack?” the hero raged at him, the lamps out long ago. “He’s a pirate! We kill pirates! It’s what we do! And even worse, he’s Hook’s SON!”
“Peter, I don’t think you’re lookin’ at it the right way,” the wild boy’s voice coaxed. “He is Hook’s son. So why not use that to our advantage, eh?”
“Because, Jack, can’t you see?” There was a pause as the first boy shook his head. “You found something in him. I’ve never…I’ve never seen you like this before. And it’ll destroy us all.”
“But-”
“Jack. Brother. I love you as only a brother could, but you have to leave. Both of you. Now.”
And the moment of understanding stretched on. After a hurt, angry silence, the wild boy ran from the tree of lost boys and threw himself into the sea, swimming through the ocean of tears back into the real world, praying to forget.
In a fit of vengeful rage for what he’d had to do to his brother, the young hero quickly scouted out the forbidden pirate child, who lay sleeping in his brother’s small house.
“How could you have done all this in one night,” the hero hissed, and without a second thought plunged his singing golden sword into the sleeping child’s chest. Green eyes blinked up at him, but the scabbard was filled once more, and the hero threw him into the sea as well, to follow the hero’s brother into the other world.
That night, in the land far, far away, the hero cried for the first time, and a young fairy called Tinkerbell followed the sound to meet Peter Pan.
That morning, the war escalated into something fierce, the rage and shadow of the nemeses’ lost families drenching the soil and seas of the land with blood.
That afternoon, the Norrington family was blessed with a startled boy blinking up at them from their porch.
And a young boy answering to the name Jack clambered up onto a dock, confused and grinning, without a memory in the world.
The world moved on.
----
TITLE: Reality in Alteration
FANDOM: Naruto
WARNINGS: Again with the slash. And profanity, but that's kinda obvious.
Summary: A jutsu experiment sends Team 7 into a dark world where Naruto’s been hokage of the ruined Konoha since he was 13, Sasuke murdered Itachi at 9, and Sakura’s trying to kill both of them. What’s going on? And how can they get back to their own world, when they barely know how they got there in the first place? SasuNaru, SakuIno (yep, femslash. It’s new to me too…)
Reality in Alteration
Revelation 1- Underneath the Rivalry
Sasuke eyed the scroll hesitantly, lips creased in a frown.
“Oh come on, it’s just a genjutsu scroll!” Sakura stamped impatiently, mint eyes rolling at her teammates.
Naruto squinted at the scroll, and Sasuke’s head tilted another 3.2 degrees to the right- a sign of intense contemplation if there ever was one. “But Sakura-chan, I don’t get it.”
“What’s there to get?” Sakura defended. “It’s a brilliant genjutsu scroll!”
“Which was found in Orochimaru’s basement,” Sasuke added, adding another 1.4 degrees to the head-tilt.
“That’s just proof it’s brilliant! Sasuke, in all the time you were there, did you ever see anything there that wasn’t years ahead of everything chuunin-rank ninja know?” Sakura coaxed, brushing a bit of her short pink hair behind a newly pierced ear.
His midnight eyes looked right at her, a forceful bland expression on his still-tilted head. “I never saw anything that wasn’t malicious or evil, either,” he stated. “Or harmless.”
Naruto was still examining the scroll, scratching his head. “What’s this about…alteration?” He frowned. “I still don’t get it. How is this a brilliant genjutsu?”
The head-tilt turned to a full-fledged 5 degrees. “That’s what I’d like to know.”
Sakura’s eyes rolled again. “It’s a genjutsu that doesn’t just alter the perception of the target, it alters the thing being perceived!”
Naruto grinned. “Sounds like you don’t get it either!”
“It can’t be a genjutsu then,” Sasuke said, ignoring Sakura’s reaction and (since none of them seemed to notice his head-tiltage) went an extreme 10 degrees, and Naruto stopped fending off Sakura’s super-charged fists to turn towards his rival. “Ninjutsu alter outside elements, genjutsu alter mental elements, taijutsu alter physical elements.”
“I KNOW that,” Sakura snapped, and sat back down on her side of the scroll, still flushed from her attack on the blonde. “But what else could it be with all these attributes? ‘Mental displacement’, ‘truth in deception’, ‘reality in alteration’? If that’s not genjutsu, I don’t know what it is.”
“Exactly,” Sasuke said, and Sakura glared at him.
“No matter what we say, she’s gonna do it anyway,” Naruto shrugged to his rival, who frowned. “I say we just help her and make sure she doesn’t blow anything up this time.”
“That was ONCE, and it was an explosive ninjutsu anyway,” Sakura muttered.
“And if it goes wrong, you can take us to the hospital,” Sasuke added, the fact Naruto was practically indestructible ingrained in his memory ever since a boulder had literally squashed him, and only left the demon vessel with a nasty bruise on his back.
“Alright then! It’s decided,” Naruto grinned, and turned towards Sakura. “So! What now?”
She shrugged, smiling brightly. “We do the jutsu. Honestly, you two are such pessimists. How bad could it possibly be?”
Surprisingly used to this sort of thing, Naruto and Sasuke flanked their pink-haired teammate as she began the seals, and finally slammed her hand onto the scroll, shouting out “OUSHI BESSEKAI NO JUTSU!”
A blinding black flash erupted from the scroll, consuming the three of them.
x---x
When Naruto’s eyes opened, they were greeted with Sasuke glaring down at him from heaven, a blue halo of sky bringing out the navy accents in his hair. “Get up, dobe.”
He complied, looking around gob smacked. Yes, they were still in Sakura’s apartment, except it now had no roof, no furniture, and what had once been two windowed, structurally necessary walls was now a gaping hole that showed them that the rest of this Konoha district in equal disrepair.
“This is a fucking WEIRD genjutsu,” Naruto muttered, and Sasuke nodded, scrounging around the room for anything that could be useful…oh, hey. “Where’s Sakura-chan?”
“She wasn’t here when I woke up, but she left a note,” he said, negligently holding up a slip of paper with Sakura’s distinctive handwriting on it. “Says she needs to investigate something and will meet us for dinner near our tree.”
‘OUR tree’ was something Kakashi had smashed into their heads by giving them a nondescript, out-of-town meeting place so that if they ever needed to speak privately, they had an ideal location for it. And, of course, “dinner” meant at 7:22 PM exactly- another code that they’d grown so used to using on the road that they didn’t even try to avoid it anymore.
“So what do we do then? Just sit around and wait for her to come get us out of the jutsu?”
Sasuke shrugged, finally picking up a misplaced shuriken from the dirty floor and slipping it into his weapons pouch. “I’m going to explore. I want to know more about the genjutsu, since the scroll was so vague.”
“Yeah, yeah,” Naruto nodded, and shrugged. “I might as well do that too.” Stretching for a moment, the blonde grinned at his rival. “Never know when Orochimaru and his tongue might come after you- you sure you’re okay to run away?”
Sasuke snorted. “You sure you have enough brain cells left to not slam into a tree, dobe? You were just knocked out by a genjutsu, after all.”
Translation? Be careful, idiot. You die, I’ll kill you.
The two smirked at each other, and tore off in opposite directions.
It wasn’t too long until Naruto found himself in the forest outside Konoha, grinning to himself as Sasuke’s all-to-familiar chakra could be felt chasing after him. Apparently it was time to regroup and do that whole ‘information gathering’ thing. Either that, or the Uchiha was bored and wanted to spar. Hell, he was fine with either. Naruto would never admit it, but Sasuke was fun to be around, even if it was just because of the enjoyment he got from driving the sullen boy insane.
Grinning, Naruto dropped down from the tree branches and onto the forest floor. It was more fun to fight Sasuke on solid ground, simply because Sasuke got closer and made funny growling noises when they fought on hard ground.
He didn’t have to wait long, either- Sasuke was suddenly THERE in front of him (Naruto couldn’t remember him being that silent before; he’d need to train more to keep up with the genius’ stealth skills, apparently). Now wearing baggy black pants instead of his usual shorts, he smirked at Naruto.
“Shirking as usual, I see,” Sasuke said, arms crossed over his shirt and just looking WEIRD to Naruto- or was it at? There was definitely something new in those charcoal eyes.
“I’m not shirking. I’m still exploring, bastard,” Naruto grinned as Sasuke walked towards him. “What are YOU doing? Just chasing me around?”
Sasuke’s smirk turned predatory. “That’s not all I’m doing, hopefully.”
…when had Sasuke gotten so close?
Sakura, Naruto decided as Sasuke shoved him against the tree’s rough bark and continued to try and suffocate him with his tongue, was going to die. This, he determined as Sasuke ground up against him and Naruto couldn’t help but moan into the dark-haired teen’s smirking mouth, had been a bad idea, no matter how smart Sakura and Sasuke- oh god, SASUKE- were.
But as soon as the blonde felt his teammate’s hand go from his waist down to the zipper on his pants, Naruto shrieked (yes, SHRIEKED, a sound that any banshee would have been proud to make) and shoved him away. Startled black eyes widened as Sasuke slammed into the adjacent tree, making some of the bark crack off from the force of it, leaves falling from the branches as Sasuke glared up at Naruto.
“What the fuck was that for?!”
Naruto gaped at him. “WHAT WAS THAT FOR?! WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU!” Naruto screamed, a panicked finger pointing shakily at his rival. “You…you…KISSED ME, you bastard!”
A stare was all he received. Still in shock from the FAR too pleasant activity that’d just been ended rather abruptly, Naruto was breathing harshly, shaking all over and close to either beating the shit out of Sasuke or having a panic attack or just jumping him again- which in itself was making him more inclined towards either beating the shit out of Sasuke or curling up into a fetal position and screaming for a few hours.
After a few more minutes, Sasuke shoved his hands into his pockets and walked towards Naruto. “Moron,” he scoffed. “What’s the brain trauma from this time?”
“I SHOULD ASK YOU THAT, ASSHOLE!” Naruto barked out, and Sasuke’s amused smirk seemed to completely ignore his outburst.
“Need me to carry you to the medic-nin?”
Naruto scurried backwards, right into the tree from- something he wasn’t thinking about. “STAY AWAY FROM ME, BASTARD!”
Sasuke rolled his eyes- holy crap, did Sasuke even KNOW how to do that?- at Naruto. “Oh yes, that’s going to stop me. Insult me and run away. Very noble, hokage-san.”
Naruto’s mouth began its impression of a flailing, dying fish. “Huh?”
Before the blonde could notice, Sasuke had scooped him up (which was actually rather amusing, seeing as Naruto was about 3 inches taller and 20 pounds heavier) and was jumping along through the trees. “You’re going to get yourself killed one of these days, idiot, with how many trees you fall out of.”
And that was when Naruto realized that Sasuke’s seal was missing. The seal that Orochimaru left so long ago. The seal that Couldn’t Come Off, no matter what anyone tried.
“Sasuke,” Naruto’s voice sounded strained, even to his own ears. “I have a concussion, and my memory’s fuzzy and all that shit, so tell me about me and…and you.”
Sasuke snorted. “What’s there to tell, dumbass? You’re hokage, I’m head Anbu, and we’ve been married since we were 15.”
And that was about when Naruto passed out.
-----
TITLE: Coffee Service
FANDOM: Stargate: Atlantis
WARNINGS: I WROTE GEN.! Yes, that's right, ladies and gentlemen, no real pairing, only a cute little friendship fic! *moment to gloat* (Of course, could be taken as pre-slash, but hey.)
Coffee Service
Coffee. Ask anyone and they’ll tell you it’s addictive. Ask me, and I’ll tell you about how slowly my body’s become dependant on the caffeine received from it, how when Italian merchants tried to ban the stuff to protect their wine even the pope himself got addicted to it, baptized the concoction, and proclaimed it a truly Christian beverage. I’ll tell you how coffee is an unstoppable force of nature. I’ll tell you how coffee is both the devil and pure genius for what it does to the human body.
I’ll also tell you that I had never had a truly good cup of coffee until I met Major Lieutenant Colonel Whatever-He-Is-Now John Sheppard.
The coffee he makes is…it’s bliss in a beverage. I have no idea how he does it, and he refuses to tell me, and I’m damned if I can’t help but drink all of it before I can analyze whatever it is he gives me.
I tried to stop myself from drinking it one day, to see what he does to it to make the coffee so damn delicious. It had to be laced with something, I thought. Maybe speed, for what it did to me. Maybe alcohol. Maybe even some nicotine, to make me crave it so much.
One cup a day is all he gives me. One measly cup a day. I never see him drinking his coffee (he has a special set of mugs apparently, a nice light blue ceramic that’s never too hot or cold when you hold it, just a nice warm tingly feeling, and in two and a half years I’ve never gotten a cup from a different set), but I know he’s just hoarding it away. Damn coffee dragon.
The first time I got his cursedly perfect coffee was the first morning on Atlantis, actually. I was “messing around” in the control room as he tells it, even though I know it was obviously important if I even bothered to do it, and I was naturally kind of pissed at him for evading me when I needed his ATA gene to turn the Ancient technology on. Thank god those days are over.
“Morning, McKay,” he said, grinning and holding out a single light blue mug while his hair tried to do an impression of angry road kill.
I eyed it carefully. “What is this, some sort of bribe to escape the exploitation of your genetics?”
“It’s coffee,” Sheppard said easily, still smiling. He does that a lot, apparently. “You know, highly caffeinated ground bean beverage. Good for snarky scientists at whatever-the-time-is. Figured you could use some.”
“I’m amazed, Major. Proof that your mind has deductive capabilities, it’s truly a staggering thought,” I sniped. “Will wonders never cease.”
“I am amazingly wonderful, aren’t I?” he nodded in that annoyingly, boyishly charming way, and I grabbed the coffee.
And that was when it started.
Every morning one of us isn’t dead or dying (usually me, actually, and usually in the process of saving his moronic, self-sacrificing ass) or on a mission, he shows up with that sinfully perfect cup of coffee and just enough intelligence for me to actually not mind his company. Usually.
Except, sometimes it isn’t in the morning. Sometimes I get two cups, when we’re up all night saving the city and Earth in the process. And after I reach the 36-hour point, if the man’s still around and not trying to heroically commit suicide like the idiot he is, he’ll give me a mug of coffee every four hours. And at the 72-hour point, all I’ve got to do is get his ass moving.
There are times, of course, when I don’t get my coffee. There was this one time that we were trapped in a cave with a bullet-proof saber tooth tiger the size of a dump truck trying to eat us. And then there’s the times we’ve been captured by the hostile natives of the day, the times when we’re quarantined or stuck or trapped in a random area.
And of course the times when John Sheppard has to play martyr and get himself as close as possible to death’s door and can’t give me coffee.
Which is, naturally, why I sit by his bed. I’m just waiting for him to wake up so he can make me my coffee. Honestly.
Okay, fine. I admit it. True, the coffee’s amazing, but so is the company. It’s not just the coffee I look forward to, it’s the service that goes along with it. There, you happy?
So maybe it’s not just the coffee I’m addicted to. Maybe it’s just the fact that Major-Colonel-Whatever Sheppard is interesting and can actually manage to hold a decent conversation, even though our conversations sound more like very odd arguments. Maybe it’s the fact he actually manages to make sure I’m not infected with some alien flu, and that I don’t get lemon in my coffee (yes, it has happened. Zelenka has the taste of a fungus), and that every now and then he’ll drink coffee with me when he brings it. Maybe it’s the fact that John actually seems to care, and that I can’t help caring too.
Maybe it’s the friendship that comes along with the coffee that’s so pleasant.
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I'll do more later, promise. But now? Ice cream time. Oyesh.
