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Distract me please.
Go here and find a good summary. Comment with it, and fandom recasting shall commence! Or just mockery if it's a really good one.
My personal favorite so far:
From the moment he sees Abbey at a charity fashion show, Russian tycoon Nikolai Arlov wants every inch of that curvy, creamy body. When she refuses him, he mercilessly switches tactics, aiming straight for her vulnerable heart….
With her family's business in serious trouble, Abbey knows Nikolai's money is their only hope. She submits to his lethal brand of seduction and blackmail—ready and willing to do anything he desires. Only, Nikolai has no idea his reluctant mistress is…a virgin.
HOMIGOD, A VIRGIN? HOWEVER WILL THIS PLOT TWIST TURN OUT?!
The title's The Ruthless Magnate's Virgin Mistress. Try saying that five times fast, ouch.
My personal favorite so far:
From the moment he sees Abbey at a charity fashion show, Russian tycoon Nikolai Arlov wants every inch of that curvy, creamy body. When she refuses him, he mercilessly switches tactics, aiming straight for her vulnerable heart….
With her family's business in serious trouble, Abbey knows Nikolai's money is their only hope. She submits to his lethal brand of seduction and blackmail—ready and willing to do anything he desires. Only, Nikolai has no idea his reluctant mistress is…a virgin.
HOMIGOD, A VIRGIN? HOWEVER WILL THIS PLOT TWIST TURN OUT?!
The title's The Ruthless Magnate's Virgin Mistress. Try saying that five times fast, ouch.
Spies, Lies, and Naked Thighs, oh my!
Not that she's given much choice. The FBI is dangling the ultimate carrot—if she can use her seduction skills to trace an ancient, stolen artifact, it'll lead her to Sharif, the terrorist who framed her for a murder that landed her in a Middle East prison. Now she's prepared to break any rule to make sure Sharif pays.
But a mysterious and alluring agent called One-Eyed Jack is on her tail, and Breezy's not sure if he's friend, foe or something even more dangerous…a sensual distraction aimed at throwing her off her guard. She'll show him who's in control.…
I need to not be using this icon. But like I can resist.
Re: Spies, Lies, and Naked Thighs, oh my!
You are very, very good at this game, omg.
CLEARLY THE QUEEN HAS TO BE BREEZY. I DON'T KNOW WHY BUT SHE JUST DOES. Or maybe Airofday but that's just because I like the idea of her being an ex-archaeologist undercover whore.
Re: Spies, Lies, and Naked Thighs, oh my!
Ooooh, historical fiction! *dives in, cakcling*
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"We're going to have a child. You need to come home so we can get married."
So wrote Hannah Gustavson to her childhood sweetheart, the father of her baby. But with no response, she was forced to marry another man…her lover's brother.
Tall, handsome and honorable, Judd Seavers could make any woman's heart race. Hannah was no exception, and she was awed by the ex-soldier who gave her his name.
A forbidden love as grand as the Rockies crested between them. But a shadow loomed. Would the baby's father come home? And if he did, would Judd return his borrowed bride?
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Tess Wakefield has cooled on sex. Oh, she did the rebellious wild-child thing in college, making it a point to break all the rules—especially the ones about sex—and all it got her was a string of loser boyfriends and a fear of rashes. Underwhelmed by her experiences, she's happy to focus on her career and leave her vibrator in storage.
Now an advertising exec, Tess has been hired by one of Madison Avenue's hottest agencies as co-creative director with wunderkind Danny Gabriel. Secretly, she's been asked to rein in his maverick style, and Tess immediately suspects Danny when someone sabotages her new campaign. But everyone in the place seems to have a secret agenda. It's a cutthroat business, and not everyone is willing to play nice with the new girl.
Including Danny. His early, fervent advances are a pleasant shock to Tess, but she never imagines for a second that she'd allow him to draw her into the dark heart of the most breathtakingly erotic S&M club in Manhattan—or that she'd be so willing to give up control and like it.
Keeping her vibrator in the closet. Wooowww.
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Caine Allen is a hardened Texas Ranger, definitely not the marrying kind. But when he rescues a kidnapped woman and returns her to town, the preacher calls in a favor. One Caine's honor won't let him refuse. From the moment he beds Desi, Caine knows turmoil will follow. Desi might have the face of a temptress, but she also has a will of iron and while she needs his protection, she's determined that no man will control her again. They establish an uneasy bond, but it isn't enough for Caine. He wants all Desi has to offer. He wants her screams, her moans, her demands…everything. Yet there's still a bounty on Desi's head, and keeping her sexually satisfied is proving easier than keeping her alive.
...I don't even know where to start with that.
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Caine Grennard is a werewolf, living among humans and lacking purpose—until the night he meets a woman with an exotic, irresistible scent. A woman who might be his deadliest enemy.
When her aunt is kidnapped, Emma Gray swears she'll do anything to get the older woman back. Even if it means trusting the mysterious—and sexy—stranger named Caine.
But more is at stake than one woman's life: Emma's past holds the last key to unlocking a prophecy Caine's clan is depending on. The fates of both their clans rest on Caine and Emma trusting the impossible, electric connection between them, even in the midst of betrayal...
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On an unrelated note, here, have what is apparently a trailer for the new Bleach movie (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=67GSfik9Ktw) "Fade to Black", complete with "What. WHAT." moments of eee.
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ALSO DIDJA READ TURN BACK THE PENDULUM YET AND SEE KISUKE SCARE THE CRAP OUT OF AIZEN? :D
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The Devil to Pay
After the devil Himself claims Ivan Drake's soul on his twenty-first birthday, the vampire phoenix has no choice but to enforce his wicked rule. But when the devil sends him to claim the Book of All Spells, the last thing Ivan expects is to square off with its gorgeous protector, the witch Dez Merevech—or to be so attracted to her.
To retrieve the book might end the escalating war between the witches and the vampires, but to take it from Dez will ensure her death. With the fate of the paranormal world hanging in the balance, Ivan must choose wisely—and quickly.
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Cee-rhist.
I must've skimmed that the first time, because I only read 'vampire' and not vampire ASSING PHEONIX!
I'd be angry if I wasn't looking on the bright side as thinking at least the women who are reading this trash are READING.