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luchiaBOY is this long and ends at a cliffhanger. Luckily I hooked myself on my own fic so next one'll be up pretty quick. Might even be the LAST one, GASP!
Title: Fifteen Annuals With Her Gay Guardian Glitch (15 Annuals); CHAPTER 8, AKA The Bit With The Really Problematic Present
Rating: Just PG-13, woe. D:
Summary: Who needs Roboparents when a Queen's got an Advisor-Ninja to take care of their recently deceased daughter?
This Chapter: Glitch is too smart! Cain is decisive! DG and Jeb act like kids who think their parents are stupid! RAW APPEARS! And so does the actual plot of Tin Man! \o/ BEWARE OF SEMI-FLUFFY WEIRD FLUFF THAT ISN'T.
Previous Chapters:
Chapter 1: That Part Where Ambrose Gets Executed
Chapter 2: The Bit With The Ninjas
Chapter 3: The End Of The Ninja Bit Thanks To LOTS OF FIRE
Chapter 4: The Resistance Meets A Magical Ninja Princess (And Glitch)
Chapter 5: The Part Where Their Cover's Blown Really, Really Badly
Chapter 6: That Cliche About Stuff Before Storms
Chapter 7: The Part Where Old Plots Are New Issues
Fifteen Annuals With Her Gay Guardian Glitch
(aka 15 Annuals)
CHAPTER VIII:
AKA The Bit With The Really Problematic Present
“Have I mentioned how pretty this place used to be?” Glitch sighed, looking around at the dead trees they were walking cautiously through. “Fruit from every branch, beautiful blossoms in the spring, even the bark of the trees was lovely…”
“And now it tries to kill us,” Cain stated, watching their left side. DG had the front. Jeb had the right, and Glitch was rear-guard in just about every obnoxious way he could think of. Apparently he didn’t have to call him ‘Sweetheart’ to suddenly find himself being groped.
Luckily they weren’t stupid enough to try and have sex in the Fields of the Papay. Sure, Cain was a damn good shot and Glitch was a Kage, but that didn’t mean stripping down and shagging was a good idea. Especially since the runners were fast. And Cain would be blushing even in the Hereafter if he was EATEN while NAKED and having sex in the PAPAY.
…of course, Glitch would probably just gleefully torment him even when they were dead. “Oh, come on, it was worth it.” “You know how many people dream of dying while having sex?” “Well at least it was good, right?”
“What’s that?” DG called out from in front, and Glitch was running up to the front, stopping next to DG, who was next to a blue-white webbing. He grimaced.
“Pre-digestive enzyme webbing.”
DG gaped. “PRE-digestive? There’s something alive in there?”
“It’s probably too late for whatever they caught, DG,” Cain said. “The Fields-”
His words cut off when she pulled out her staff and flicked open the blade Glitch had installed (it was some sort of weird Glitch-y act of penance) and sliced it open, a groaning whine accompanying the hairy brown humanoid creature that tumbled out. It was still whining and whimpering as it got off its side and into a crouch, cradling its head.
“They’re going to come running for this,” Jeb said, he and his father keeping a wary eye out as Glitch fussed over DG and the creature and was probably ready to stab the thing in some discrete place if it looked at her the wrong way.
“Hey, you okay?” DG asked, and the creature’s head lifted up, looking at her.
“A Viewer,” Glitch gaped. “I…wow. Hi, Mister Viewer, I-”
The Viewer got up and shuffled away from them, looking scared and definitely not in the mood to be eaten.
“Hey, hey, it’s alright,” DG said soothingly, smiling and politely flicking her staff back into its much more unimposing cylinder form. “Do you have a name? Do you feel alright?”
“Run,” he said instead, eyes wide.
DG and Glitch did that obnoxious tilt-their-head-at-the-same-time thing that Cain really, really needed to stop being amused by. “Your name’s ‘Run’?” DG asked, sounding both amused and like she felt his naming pain.
“No, he means RUN,” Jeb said, grabbing DG’s hand and running in the opposite direction, just in time for her to avoid a runner’s jaws where her foot had been.
Glitch didn’t need much more prompting, either. With just a moment of hesitation, he grabbed onto the Viewer’s furry sleeve and ran, Cain covering their back, gun out and being a pretty impressive shot, leaving one of the four runners whimpering with a bloody hole practically dead center in the skull.
“CLIFF!” Jeb shouted out frantically from in front of them, where he and DG were both scouting out safe ways through the fields and running like hell from the things that wanted to eat them.
“Then TURN, damn it!” Cain snapped, and they obeyed, turning left
“Down the cliff,” the Viewer said instead.
Glitch looked over at him. “Are you sure?”
The Viewer nodded, and that was all Glitch needed. “Jeb, DG, jump off the cliff!”
“What?!” Cain hissed in front of him, but DG was already veering back towards the cliff, Jeb following, looking around with wide eyes.
“They’re coming up on our right!” Jeb added.
“The runners are maneuvering us to the right, Cain, we HAVE to jump,” Glitch snapped. “And if a Viewer says you jump, you just ask when would be a good time to do it.”
Said Viewer was whimpering again. “Don’t want to…”
“It’s them or us,” Glitch said, shaking his head. DG and Jeb were stopped, staring down the cliff. “I’d rather jump down a cliff than be eaten by ravenous-”
“That is a very, very long way down,” Cain said as they reached the cliff.
Glitch actually had to close his eyes for a moment. “Viewer, swear to me that none of us are going to die from this.”
The lion-like Viewer simply nodded, looking close to tears, and Glitch immediately moved over to DG, grabbed her around the waist, and shoved her, moving over a bit before jumping himself. With the runners hot on their trail, the Cains were about to jump right afterwards, until they noticed the Viewer backing away from the cliff and towards the Papay.
“Jeb!” Cain said, and his son was immediately on the Viewer’s other side. “If you and Glitch say we’ll be okay, we’ll be okay.”
“Doesn’t mean it won’t hurt though,” Jeb muttered, only to earn a quick glare from his dad. “What? It’s true.”
“Okay, we’re going to ignore my son for a moment and jump on three,” Cain said to the Viewer, who was visibly shaking. “Ready?”
The Papay runners were very, very close. Cain decided giving the Viewer some courage could be replaced with survival for a while, so he went a bit faster than he’d planned.
“One two three, GO,” Cain said, practically shoving the screaming Viewer and his son (who was actually screaming something that sounded suspiciously like laughter) before jumping off himself, closing his eyes and holding his hat to his heart for no reason he could really name as he plummeted towards the river beneath.
---
“You’re like a cat or something,” DG stared, and Jeb just gave her a bland look as he wrung out his shirt. “It’s just water! You don’t see any of the rest of us stripping down and everything, do you?”
“I don’t think any of you have nearly died of hypothermia, either,” Jeb said, only for Glitch to go “Oooh, me!” and raise a hand. He paused, and shrugged at the looks he was getting. “I was fourteen. Seemed like a good idea at the time.”
“What haven’t you done?” DG asked.
“I don’t think you want him to answer that,” Cain muttered, earning a snicker from Glitch, which then in turn earned Glitch a smack in the chest. “Besides, the most cat-like one of us is being fairly quiet.”
At which, four pairs of eyes turned to one very bashful Viewer, sitting on a log. Almost curled up on it, actually. DG stood up and carefully sat herself down next to him, smiling. “Are you feeling alright?”
She didn’t get a response, only eyes looking straight into her.
“Almost a shadow,” he muttered, and hesitantly held a hand out to her. “Viewers see what is.”
“If you touch, he’ll be able to get into your mind,” Glitch said quietly.
“But you’re not going to hurt me, are you?” DG smiled at the Viewer, who nodded hesitantly. “Can you tell me your name first?”
“Hime-” Glitch began, but before the name was even out of his mouth the Viewer leaned down, tracing the word RAW into the riverbank.
“Your name’s Raw?” she asked, and earned a nod. DG smiled, and held out a hand. “It’s very nice to meet you then, Raw.”
Hesitantly, Raw took her hand, only to freeze, pale skin going even paler. “Nothing but whispers and blue,” he choked out.
“DG drop your shields,” Glitch said, immediately at her side. DG just stared at him vacantly, so he grabbed her by the chin, forcing her to focus on him. “Hime, drop your shields or you’ll kill the both of you.” Still no response, so he went to the last resort as Raw’s hand literally began to sizzle. “NOW, Princess!”
“Mmm,” DG nodded, and dropped them for the first time in her entire life.
Glitch was blasted away by the pure, furious power, landing sprawled on the riverbank unconscious. Jeb, despite all his efforts to remain dry, was thrown back into the water, gasping when he came up for air, and Cain skidded across the bank, hat barely caught as the Light swirled around them. It wasn’t violent, it was just…uncontrolled. No harm, no cruelty inside of it, just a sudden freedom that it didn’t understand or know.
Raw, however, wasn’t blasted away. He was talking so fast that Cain could barely keep up with the words.
“Two of darkness and two of light the two suns the two moons two sisters both full of gray the uncontrollable maelstrom the pure shadow conflicting with the Light a vibrant light and all around you red and indecision but the constant loyalty and love so much love for those around you so much compassion a hard edge of trials and guilt and decisive indecision but the storm is coming and you are only part of the storm but you are the part that hurts and is hurt loves and is loved wounds that is wounded,” Raw was gibbering off, eyes suddenly a bright blue, seeing nothing. “The storm of silver and green that will either tear the OZ apart with dark gusts or cleanse it with pure wind-”
Raw fell off the log, panting, the blue that had possessed his eyes transferring back to DG. Jeb had climbed back out of the water, Cain’s head was still ringing like someone had decided it’d make a very nice gong, and Glitch was still sprawled on the riverbank, mouth open, eyes closed.
The power shut off abruptly, and they all paused, even Raw, at the strange, sudden feeling of loss. DG remained seated on the log, pointedly not looking at anyone and actually sitting like a proper lady, one ankle tucked behind the other, shoulders and spine straight, but her head bowed.
“I’m sorry,” she said quietly.
Jeb was already hoisting Glitch up, checking his head. He looked over at Cain. “Mild concussion,” he said. “He’ll be fine.”
“We won’t be,” Cain sighed, picking himself off the ground. “Azkadellia had to have felt that. We need to move.” He glanced at DG. “Where to?”
“Orchards to the hidden world,” she quoted with a sigh. “We’re headed for the Realm of the Unwanted.”
“You two always pick the nicest places to visit,” Jeb rolled his eyes.
She just frowned, finally looking at them. “I’ll just make it a bit quicker, then.”
“DG, no-” Cain managed to get out, but it was already too late. DG’s hands clashed together, and they disappeared.
---
Azkadellia was still gasping, clutching her chest at the sudden feeling of power swarming her from a riverside, only for it to cut off with a flicker of power that was headed further south, past even the Gap.
Extremely powerful magic, so powerful it could do incredibly long-distance travel. She was still panting, her attendant and Zero looking at her like she’d grown a second head.
“I thought he was dead,” she whispered, eyes wide. “I thought I saw him die.” No, he had to be dead. Even her Mother had said…had said that cryptic remark.
A storm was coming for her. And it was powerful enough that even from this far away she was still left shivering.
“Sorceress?” her attendant asked. “Do you need anything?”
“Answers,” she hissed. “Summon the head archivist.” The attendant cleared his throat, and she remembered that she’d already killed him. “…surely there must be a new head archivist.”
“There is his head assistant,” her attendant nodded, and left. Which was rather convenient.
“Zero, you have always been a devoted and trustworthy man to my plans,” she said coolly.
“And I intend to stay that way, Sorceress,” he said respectfully…but with a smirk. He wasn’t as respectful as he could have been, but the results he usually got were good enough that she could deal with a little disrespect. “How may I serve you?”
She pulled out a map, immediately pointing to the exact location where she’d felt that fading flicker of raw power reappear. “Get over there as quickly as you can. Capture anyone you find.” The magical person (the storm, that terrified bit of her whispered) couldn’t have gotten far after that much power usage. “They’ll be stopped there for a while. Considering it’s halfway to the Realm of the Unwanted, we can assume that’s their destination.”
And halfway to Finaqua. But she wasn’t thinking about that. Finaqua was gone, destroyed, nothing left but a single swing among the darkness and the trees. She had scorched it from every map, every person’s memory, from anything and everything that could lead someone there. Finaqua was gone, and it would remain that way. But still…but still…
There was no storm. There was nothing out to get her. Ambrose was dead, her Mother and what little power she’d had left at the end was imprisoned. She was unstoppable. Even getting the Emerald of the Eclipse was practically unnecessary. She had everything she could possibly need.
i want the darkness i want night i want the darkness
And you’ll get it, Azkadellia responded, hearing the voice practically purr at the words.
“Catch them, and bring them straight to me,” she said, returning to Zero and finding whatever that power had been. “They should be weak, very weak.” She rolled up the map, and looked him straight in the eye. “Bind their hands. Bind them as tightly as you can without injury, understand?”
“As you wish, Sorceress, but it will take us at least a day to reach the Realm of the Unwanted,” Zero said. He was efficient. She appreciated that.
“Which is why I want you leaving as soon as possible,” she said, and paused. Nearly wincing, she pulled the map back out, and pointed. “I want you personally, along with your most trusted men, to head for this area. It’s the only other destination they might have in mind, and I doubt it will be where they go, but I don’t want to take any chances with this. This is vitally important, Zero, do you understand that?”
“Yes, Sorceress,” he said, bowing. “I’ll have my troops ready to go as quickly as possible.”
“Make that even faster,” she said, and dismissed him, turning to the window that looked out on the bleak landscape she had created.
A storm was coming. But she’d make sure that she was that storm.
Azkadellia didn’t even turn towards the quivering archivist that her attendant brought in.
“I want the royal family’s genealogy as quickly as you can get it. The entirety of it.” She paused. “Also, look up any references of very large red wooden columns.”
Gibbering something, the archivist left the room, and Azkadellia sat back down at her desk, horrified that some tiny part of her, some part she hadn’t even known existed until that dream, was actually some foolish seed of hope.
“Storms and seeds don’t work too well together,” Azkadellia said coolly, and concentrated on the things in the world not related to her paranoia.
---
It felt very, very strange to have both DG and Glitch out of commission, even if it was temporary. Raw seemed to be coming out of his terror of…well, everything, to be frank. Even taken to talking with Jeb in that halting, difficult voice, as if he spoke another language than Basic but understood it completely. His son still looked like a drowned rat, which was pretty funny, but Jeb kept giving him that ‘you’re my DAD, you’re not supposed to find this funny’ look.
Cain blamed it on Glitch. After all, the man had laughed at DG plenty of times back when they were with the Resistance. But then again, their connection wasn’t biological.
…but Jeb did need to loosen up, and it really was funny. So he ignored the look and kept on grinning at his son’s poor state of dress, his beloved red scarf the only thing he’d had the time to wring out safely, considering they had no idea where DG had taken them or who could be around and they weren’t about to take any chances. Even Raw had put himself on watch around the dark-haired duo.
“We should get some sleep,” Jeb said quietly. “We’re all exhausted, the suns are setting, and if we’re going into the Realm tomorrow-”
“I know, son,” Cain sighed. “I just don’t like the idea of leaving them vulnerable like this.”
Jeb gave him a very strange look. “Did you pay any attention to the Kage when we were there?” He started to speak, only to be interrupted. “Aside from Hana.”
Cain opened his mouth. Then he closed his mouth, and rubbed his forehead. “Not really, no.”
“They’ll be fine. Glitch’s concussion is mild enough he shouldn’t even have a problem if he goes to sleep, it’s more like the magic knocked him out and he’s…coping, I guess.”
“Since when are you a doctor?” Cain asked, amused.
“Since I paid attention to the Kage,” Jeb said dryly.
He really should have seen that one coming. “So they’ll both be okay is what you’re saying.”
“Magical overload for Glitch, magic depletion for DG,” he said. “Raw’s a Viewer, so he could luckily just channel the charge into his power.”
“Which we couldn’t do.”
Jeb nodded, sitting next to his father. “Normal, boring humans in the company of two Kage, one a Princess with enough magic to take down buildings, the other a…well, whatever Glitch is since I know he’s more than just a Kage, and a very talented Viewer.”
“Wouldn’t that make us interesting instead of boring?” Cain asked wryly, Jeb frowning at him. “With the company we keep, you have to wonder why we’re here.”
“Heart of silver, lord of tin,” Raw said from nearby, making them both turn to look at him. He nodded. “Family of iron. Strong heart, stronger will.” He smiled a bit shyly. “Not boring or common humans. Good men.”
“…thanks, Raw,” Cain said sincerely, and Raw simply nodded, moving back to his position – a bit separated from the four others but close enough that he was still part of the group. Cain turned to look at Jeb. “Get some sleep.”
Jeb just nodded, stretched out, and shut his eyes.
Cain paused, but walked over to sit next to Glitch. He hesitated for a moment – there was still that strange tingle around him – but lay down next to the other man anyway, not touching, but close enough to hear him breathing.
“Another reason not boring human,” Raw said quietly.
Cain frowned at him. “What do you mean?”
But Raw didn’t answer, simply curled up comfortably, silent as Cain lay there, listening to Glitch breathe, and wondering.
---
Ambrose woke up very…fuzzy. That didn’t make much sense to him, but then again not much seemed to anymore. He was staring up at trees and the moon above them, feeling fuzzy and tingly and like he’d forgotten something.
“…morning, Glitch,” someone yawned next to him, and Ambrose – no, GLITCH, DG’s Glitch, had been for 15 annuals – how could he have forgotten all of this? He shot up, staring, looking around him.
To his left, DG was sitting next to Jeb, Raw nearby and smiling, looking content, and Cain was stretched out next to him.
“Why did I forget all of this?” Glitch whispered, a hand over his forehead as he glanced around. “We’re headed for the Realm of the Unwanted, she let her shields down to stop from killing her and Raw and…how did I forget all this?”
“You okay?” Cain asked, frowning at his side.
Glitch shook his head, looking around. “We’re going for a walk,” he said, for some reason knowing not to touch anyone. That tingly feeling told him that.
“…Sweet-”
“Ambrose,” he said, cutting Cain off and leaving him blinking as realization flashed onto his face.
When they were a good distance away, Glitch sat down, frowning. “When I woke up, I thought I was twenty and asleep in my labs.” He grimaced. “I thought of myself as AMBROSE, not her glitch, didn’t even remember any of it until I looked around.” Glitch looked up at him. “What happened to me?”
“Jeb and DG say you got a magic overload or…something,” Cain said, trying to explain to the best of his ability. “You’ve still got some stuck inside of you according to DG. She was pretty worried.”
“That doesn’t explain my brain regressing fifteen annuals, Cain,” Ambrose snapped. “Unless there’s some reason that I would have magic triggered inside of me at twenty when I was sleeping in my lab, which I’m pretty sure is a…”
Falling asleep in the lab. Waking up with the Queen next to him, summoning him as a Shadow Advisor and starting this whole thing.
“You remembered something,” Cain said simply, looking at him all lovingly and worried and it nearly broke his heart.
“She did something to me,” he whispered. “The Queen DID something to me! She…that…that…she did something!”
Ambrose took a deep breath, and then started roaring out profanity in Kageri, close to tearing out his hair. Cain was trying to figure some way out to calm him down when he couldn’t touch him, and ended up just talking.
“Whatever she did it had to be for a good reason, you know that,” he said hurriedly.
“But I trusted her! I literally gave up everything for that…that…argh!” The Kageri profanity started up again, and he turned, glaring at Cain. “She betrayed me somehow! She did something to me, she used magic on me, and I don’t even know what it was, what it was meant to do, why she would do something like that to…to me! And I still can’t even bring myself to insult her!”
“What’s all that Kageri been, then?” Cain asked.
“Swearing at absolutely nothing but getting a good bit of profanity out,” Ambrose growled, and slumped down onto the ground, hunched and still looking very, very pissed off. “I can’t believe she’d betray me like this, Cain. I poured every ounce of devotion into her and the royal family, and she did something to me without even asking.”
“You would have said yes though,” Cain said.
“Probably,” Ambrose admitted with a sigh, leaning back against a tree. “I just…all these years. You know I love DG, wouldn’t give away our time for anything in the world.” He paused. “Well, except maybe not even needing to have that time.”
“But you know whatever the Queen did to you wasn’t meant to harm you,” Cain said softly. “Admit it, Sweetheart, you’re just feeling hurt she didn’t tell you.”
“She could have told me anything,” he sighed, a wry smile coming onto his face. “I was giving her marriage advice when I was seventeen.”
“That’s strange, but then again so are you,” Cain said lightly, earning a rough, hoarse chuckle from the man beside him. “I was a brand new Tin Man when I was seventeen. Bashing doors in, chasing thieves, breaking up vapor dens…”
“Ah, the good old days,” Ambrose snickered, only to groan. At Cain’s worried look, he sighed. “DG’s on her way.”
“With all that cursing, I’m not surprised. I’d come running too.”
“Yes, but you wouldn’t give me a lecture on hypocrisy,” Glitch whined, and Cain let out a small breath at the fact Ambrose was back to being Glitch before DG showed up. He paused. “Thanks, Cain.”
“Anytime, Sweetheart,” Cain smiled.
Glitch groaned. “Oh gods, not now. This whole tingly business would fry you…although that rock over there is-”
“Glitch,” Cain snapped, very much Not Blushing, and Glitch laughed as DG came tearing into the clearing, staff already out.
“Hey, Deeg!” Glitch smiled at her, waving enthusiastically. “You feeling alright? Cain told me about the clapping distance this time. You shouldn’t overexert yourself like that, you know-”
“I come in here hearing you spouting things that…that I doubt even HALF of the Kage would be able to stomach, and you’re just…just…”
“Chatting?” Glitch offered, standing up with a smile.
“More like having a private conversation,” Cain said, and Glitch couldn’t help but look back and give him a grateful glance, which got him a wink. Oooh, he really wished the tingly magic thing would go away soon. He loved those winks. “He…overreacted.”
“Well that’s a bit of an understatement,” DG said dryly, and glared at Glitch. “Especially from someone who won’t even let me get a single curse word out-”
“You’re a princess! It’s improper!” Glitch defended.
“Besides, what could possibly make my Glitch overreact that much?!” DG snapped. “He nearly died and didn’t go off like that! We get Longcoats invading the town we’re living in and he just goes quiet! We get bandits and he just sighs! What the HELL-”
“Language!” Glitch snapped, only to get a glare that could have seared a hole into the mountains. He glared right back, but…less so.
Cain thought very, very fast. He knew Glitch would rather die than have DG see the darker sides of him – even when he’d been drugged he almost hadn’t been able to take the guilt. Think, Tin Man, think, Wyatt Cain, think…
Wyatt Cain. Hana’s voice, sharp and firm. “You aren’t leaving yet, Wyatt Cain.”
He blinked, and reached into his breast pocket.
“This.”
He held up the weird-looking red pendant Hana had shoved into his pocket when they were leaving, praying to whatever was up there that it meant something other than ‘thanks’ to the Kage.
Their jaws dropped, their eyes widened, and Cain really hoped he hadn’t just screwed everything up.
“Hana gave you blah blah blah?!” DG gasped. Cain really needed to learn Kageri. “Oh gods, no WONDER! This is fantastic!” She swept Cain into a hug, which he returned a bit hesitantly. “Oh, wow. Wait until I tell Jeb, he’ll…oh wow. I still can’t believe she gave you blah blah blah!” Her grin was a mile wide. “I’m so happy for you.”
“…that means a lot to me, DG,” Cain said, wondering if he had just made a really big mistake or had a miraculously good idea.
“I should leave you two to your private conversation then,” she grinned, and gave a big smile to Glitch (apparently she couldn’t hug him either, since she made a very big but aborted effort to do so) before practically skipping off.
“…what did I just do?” Cain asked, voice a bit higher than usual.
Glitch sunk to the ground, face in his hands. “Ohhh, nothing, just showed you had my mother’s blessing to marry me and imply that you were proposing.”
And the forest was deadly silent.
“Oh. Well, if that’s all,” Cain said.
Glitch gaped as Cain shrugged.
“If even Hana thinks it’s a good idea, why not?” Cain grinned.
“Cain, I don’t think you understand,” Glitch said, eyes wide. “This is marriage. And not just any marriage, with that pendant it’s a Kage-sanctioned marriage.”
Cain frowned, hands on his hips. “I was married once before, I think I understand the concept, Glitch.”
“Not a KAGE marriage, though!” Glitch shouted out. “It involves blood rituals! Burning someone’s house down! An eternally binding contract, Cain! Kage believe in reincarnation, and that means that next time you show up, you would be TRAPPED with me. Stuck with me, ME, no matter how many times we die and come back and die again. This is why not very many Kage get married, Cain, did you ever notice that? People have husbands and wives and so on but that’s pretty much you go say “We agree to live together and be monogamous”, not…MARRIED. You ask a husband or wife if they’re MARRIED? They’ll pale at the thought! A KAGE will be AFRAID of it!”
Cain blinked. “So Kage are afraid of commitment?”
“Don’t you get it?!” Glitch was practically screaming. “You use that thing and even in THIS life we’re trapped together!”
“Marriage isn’t a trap, Glitch,” Cain snapped. “And if you don’t want to, just SAY so! Don’t cover it up with all these Kage rituals!”
“You asked ACCIDENTALLY, Cain!” Glitch snapped right back. “Did you even think about it when DG left? You saved me from hurting her, yes-”
“But somehow I managed to hurt you by asking you to marry me.”
Glitch’s face was back in his hands. “What name would you even be saying ‘I do’ to, Cain?”
“All seven of them, now stop feeling sorry for yourself,” Cain sighed, rubbing at his forehead. Again. “We can go back, tell them we’re big boys and can deal with not being married-”
“Who said no?” Glitch frowned.
“YOU JUST DID,” Cain shouted, pointing at him. “Gods, if you weren’t all…fizzly or whatever right now-”
“It’s not my fault I’m fizzly right now! And I just…do you understand how serious that sort of thing is to Kage?”
“Glitch, it wouldn’t have to be a Kage-sanctioned-” Cain began, only to stare as Glitch pulled up his shirts to show off his Mark.
The thing was glowing bright red, searing into his flesh, and Cain noticed that it was the exact same shade of red as the pendant in his hand.
“Oh yes it would,” Ambrose said darkly. “In case you’ve forgotten, Cain, I am Kage, and there’s no other form of marriage for a Kage when you’re asked with a blah blah blah in the other party’s hand.”
“I don’t speak Kageri, Ambrose!” Cain snapped.
“It’s not a translatable word, Cain!” He yanked the shirts back down. “Just…understand what you’d be getting yourself into. Even if you met your wife again, even if you’ve got some soul mate wandering around out there that you’ve never met, it’d always be me. Always.”
Cain was utterly silent. Glitch was red-faced and panting. The Mark was searing into him, hurting more than it had ever hurt him in his entire life.
“You’re a very, very strange man,” Cain said very carefully. “But what you never are is boring, or stupid, or uncaring, or even uninteresting. I was planning on spending as much of a life as I get with you anyway. I was hoping we’d get married somewhere down the road, even, when I thought you’d be okay with having me for a husband.” He paused. “If it’s always or never, I pick always.”
Glitch blinked. “What?”
Cain smiled. “I’m asking you to marry me forever, Tomo-Spiral-Ambrose-Glitch-Sessha-Joat-Sweetheart.”
“…you’re the only person who knows all seven, you know,” Glitch whispered, clutching a hand to the mark.
“That’s not an answer.”
“I’m trying to decide if you really know what you’re getting into if I say yes.”
“So you’re not saying no.”
“Well, no I guess…”
“Which is what answer, Ex-Advisor?”
“FINE!” Glitch snapped. “Yes! I’ll marry you! Now stop acting smarter than me!”
“Good,” Cain grinned, and started to walk off, twirling the pendant around a finger.
Glitch stared after him. “And I’m the weird one in this couple?!”
“Must be a social disease,” Cain called back, making Glitch grimace as he caught up with his fiancée.
“You’re disgusting and scary when you’re in a good mood,” Glitch muttered.
“No, only when I’m in a good mood and can’t touch you.” He frowned. “We really need to get rid of that…fizzy thing.”
“You have no idea,” Glitch grumbled.
“I wouldn’t bet on that,” Cain muttered, and they walked back to what was masquerading as their camp.
---
Zero was, to put it mildly, really surprised when the scouts came back.
“They’re still there?” he asked, disbelief evident in his voice.
The scout nodded. “Five of them. One woman, one Viewer, three men.”
“Making lunch.”
“Yes, sir, making lunch,” the scout nodded again. “And chatting.”
Zero’s brow crinkled. Either they were idiots who had no idea they were being chased, or it was some very strange form of ambush, or it was…hell, he didn’t even know what the third option was. This was beyond strange. Azkadellia had left him mentally prepared for the chase and the fight of his life, and they were just sitting around?
“Orders, sir?” one of the higher-ranking Longcoats asked, and Zero grinned, walking out of the tent and hopping up onto his horse.
“We take them all,” he grinned. “Silent signals only, surround them and take them. Tranquilize anyone you see about to clap their hands together.”
“Ah, sir?” the scout interjected, and Zero looked over at him. “They seemed to be…celebrating. There was a lot of clapping.”
He smirked. “Then we just tranquilize all of them.”
---
Glitch and DG froze for a moment while Jeb was gracious enough to cook something he’d hunted and skinned nearby for lunch when they heard the crack of feet on a distant rock.
“Scouts,” Glitch stated, loud enough for all of them to hear, and DG nodded. “Longcoats. We should have moved – Azkadellia must have felt when you dropped your shields and probably traced the magical residue back to our landing point after you decided it’d be a good idea to go and clap us away.”
“It was a good idea-”
“Where’s my pack?” Glitch asked, and DG froze.
“You were sleeping on top of it,” Jeb said, turning his tiny makeshift spit, much to Raw’s amusement.
“Please don’t,” DG whispered, reaching for Glitch’s arm, only to wince as the magic flashed against her, striking like an electric whip.
“I’m sorry, Hime, but you know it’s the easiest way to get out of this,” Glitch said patiently.
“What’s the easiest way?” Cain asked.
“Fear,” Glitch said simply, and walked away. “The scouts have all gone back to report.” He gave them all a smile. “Time for a costume change. DG, do you think you could take it easier than usual and take us to the Realm one by one in case it gets bad?”
“Yes, Glitch,” she nodded, a lifetime of obeying her glitch in these situations because her glitch always got them out okay snapping into place.
He paused. “Oh, and I made another addition to your staff for when the run’s over. You’ll know what to do with it then. May throw your balance off for a minute while you adapt, but nothing serious.”
“Yes, Glitch,” she said again.
“What’s going on?” Cain frowned. Glitch paused, and then nodded.
“Follow me, then,” he said simply, and Cain complied, following as Glitch swerved through the trees and opened up his pack, heading straight for the very bottom of it and pulling out a tattered bit that Cain recognized immediately. Glitch looked up at him. “Oh, so you saw the sixteenth disk too?”
“What? How’d-”
“DG knowing exactly where we’re going and rolling her eyes any time someone asks what the route is,” Glitch said with a faint smile, and started stripping, putting the outfit on one piece at a time. He smirked at Cain, slipping into the darkest side of Ambrose. “Mentioned our encounter in it, too.”
“You did?” Cain frowned, but only got that smirk in return now that the entire outfit was on.
Ambrose strode right back to the camp in the dirty ensemble, Cain at his heels as the dark-haired man started talking. “DG, you take Raw first. We’re not making a stand here, we’re not fighting here, we’re just putting on a show and going.” DG nodded, already knowing how these tended to go. “For those of you who haven’t done this before, that means I’m pulling the strings.” He paused. “Actually, DG, take Raw and Jeb. I don’t want a Viewer alone in the Realm. He’d get sold into slavery before you can snap unless someone else is there with them. Conserve your energy by forcing them to hold on to you physically.” DG nodded again, and when Jeb looked like he was going to protest, Ambrose glared at him, hard.
“Now, basic plan. Mad crazy laughter from me during the whole thing, DG keeps her head down when she’s attacking, and Cain shoots anything coming from above. No more Mobat venom.” They all nodded.
“Good, now DG, get Raw and Jeb out of here. We’ve got five minutes probably - you can find the door and get in and back by then. Then you take Cain, and then you take me, since you can’t touch me.”
DG nodded, and immediately put one of Raw’s hands on one shoulder and one of Jeb’s on the other.
“Dad-” Jeb shouted, but with a clap they were already gone.
“Well that went well,” Glitch said, not a trace of Ambrose in him. “Sorry about this. I figure I can take care of you better than trying to help DG and the rest go on an easy run like that. Plus, this way Azkadellia will be too busy to care about Deeg.”
“What do you mean?” Cain asked a bit frantically.
“Surrender or die!” Someone shouted from the woods.
“Oh, those are fun words, aren’t they?” The darkest Ambrose cooed loudly, and a horse walked its way out, the rider blond and a Longcoat staring at them both like he’d just been smacked in the face by a two year old for giving the kid candy. “Well, if it isn’t the messenger boy.”
“Zero,” Cain hissed.
And that was all they got out before the tranquilizers hit them.
---
...yeah, cliffhanger.
Title: Fifteen Annuals With Her Gay Guardian Glitch (15 Annuals); CHAPTER 8, AKA The Bit With The Really Problematic Present
Rating: Just PG-13, woe. D:
Summary: Who needs Roboparents when a Queen's got an Advisor-Ninja to take care of their recently deceased daughter?
This Chapter: Glitch is too smart! Cain is decisive! DG and Jeb act like kids who think their parents are stupid! RAW APPEARS! And so does the actual plot of Tin Man! \o/ BEWARE OF SEMI-FLUFFY WEIRD FLUFF THAT ISN'T.
Previous Chapters:
Chapter 1: That Part Where Ambrose Gets Executed
Chapter 2: The Bit With The Ninjas
Chapter 3: The End Of The Ninja Bit Thanks To LOTS OF FIRE
Chapter 4: The Resistance Meets A Magical Ninja Princess (And Glitch)
Chapter 5: The Part Where Their Cover's Blown Really, Really Badly
Chapter 6: That Cliche About Stuff Before Storms
Chapter 7: The Part Where Old Plots Are New Issues
(aka 15 Annuals)
CHAPTER VIII:
AKA The Bit With The Really Problematic Present
“Have I mentioned how pretty this place used to be?” Glitch sighed, looking around at the dead trees they were walking cautiously through. “Fruit from every branch, beautiful blossoms in the spring, even the bark of the trees was lovely…”
“And now it tries to kill us,” Cain stated, watching their left side. DG had the front. Jeb had the right, and Glitch was rear-guard in just about every obnoxious way he could think of. Apparently he didn’t have to call him ‘Sweetheart’ to suddenly find himself being groped.
Luckily they weren’t stupid enough to try and have sex in the Fields of the Papay. Sure, Cain was a damn good shot and Glitch was a Kage, but that didn’t mean stripping down and shagging was a good idea. Especially since the runners were fast. And Cain would be blushing even in the Hereafter if he was EATEN while NAKED and having sex in the PAPAY.
…of course, Glitch would probably just gleefully torment him even when they were dead. “Oh, come on, it was worth it.” “You know how many people dream of dying while having sex?” “Well at least it was good, right?”
“What’s that?” DG called out from in front, and Glitch was running up to the front, stopping next to DG, who was next to a blue-white webbing. He grimaced.
“Pre-digestive enzyme webbing.”
DG gaped. “PRE-digestive? There’s something alive in there?”
“It’s probably too late for whatever they caught, DG,” Cain said. “The Fields-”
His words cut off when she pulled out her staff and flicked open the blade Glitch had installed (it was some sort of weird Glitch-y act of penance) and sliced it open, a groaning whine accompanying the hairy brown humanoid creature that tumbled out. It was still whining and whimpering as it got off its side and into a crouch, cradling its head.
“They’re going to come running for this,” Jeb said, he and his father keeping a wary eye out as Glitch fussed over DG and the creature and was probably ready to stab the thing in some discrete place if it looked at her the wrong way.
“Hey, you okay?” DG asked, and the creature’s head lifted up, looking at her.
“A Viewer,” Glitch gaped. “I…wow. Hi, Mister Viewer, I-”
The Viewer got up and shuffled away from them, looking scared and definitely not in the mood to be eaten.
“Hey, hey, it’s alright,” DG said soothingly, smiling and politely flicking her staff back into its much more unimposing cylinder form. “Do you have a name? Do you feel alright?”
“Run,” he said instead, eyes wide.
DG and Glitch did that obnoxious tilt-their-head-at-the-same-time thing that Cain really, really needed to stop being amused by. “Your name’s ‘Run’?” DG asked, sounding both amused and like she felt his naming pain.
“No, he means RUN,” Jeb said, grabbing DG’s hand and running in the opposite direction, just in time for her to avoid a runner’s jaws where her foot had been.
Glitch didn’t need much more prompting, either. With just a moment of hesitation, he grabbed onto the Viewer’s furry sleeve and ran, Cain covering their back, gun out and being a pretty impressive shot, leaving one of the four runners whimpering with a bloody hole practically dead center in the skull.
“CLIFF!” Jeb shouted out frantically from in front of them, where he and DG were both scouting out safe ways through the fields and running like hell from the things that wanted to eat them.
“Then TURN, damn it!” Cain snapped, and they obeyed, turning left
“Down the cliff,” the Viewer said instead.
Glitch looked over at him. “Are you sure?”
The Viewer nodded, and that was all Glitch needed. “Jeb, DG, jump off the cliff!”
“What?!” Cain hissed in front of him, but DG was already veering back towards the cliff, Jeb following, looking around with wide eyes.
“They’re coming up on our right!” Jeb added.
“The runners are maneuvering us to the right, Cain, we HAVE to jump,” Glitch snapped. “And if a Viewer says you jump, you just ask when would be a good time to do it.”
Said Viewer was whimpering again. “Don’t want to…”
“It’s them or us,” Glitch said, shaking his head. DG and Jeb were stopped, staring down the cliff. “I’d rather jump down a cliff than be eaten by ravenous-”
“That is a very, very long way down,” Cain said as they reached the cliff.
Glitch actually had to close his eyes for a moment. “Viewer, swear to me that none of us are going to die from this.”
The lion-like Viewer simply nodded, looking close to tears, and Glitch immediately moved over to DG, grabbed her around the waist, and shoved her, moving over a bit before jumping himself. With the runners hot on their trail, the Cains were about to jump right afterwards, until they noticed the Viewer backing away from the cliff and towards the Papay.
“Jeb!” Cain said, and his son was immediately on the Viewer’s other side. “If you and Glitch say we’ll be okay, we’ll be okay.”
“Doesn’t mean it won’t hurt though,” Jeb muttered, only to earn a quick glare from his dad. “What? It’s true.”
“Okay, we’re going to ignore my son for a moment and jump on three,” Cain said to the Viewer, who was visibly shaking. “Ready?”
The Papay runners were very, very close. Cain decided giving the Viewer some courage could be replaced with survival for a while, so he went a bit faster than he’d planned.
“One two three, GO,” Cain said, practically shoving the screaming Viewer and his son (who was actually screaming something that sounded suspiciously like laughter) before jumping off himself, closing his eyes and holding his hat to his heart for no reason he could really name as he plummeted towards the river beneath.
---
“You’re like a cat or something,” DG stared, and Jeb just gave her a bland look as he wrung out his shirt. “It’s just water! You don’t see any of the rest of us stripping down and everything, do you?”
“I don’t think any of you have nearly died of hypothermia, either,” Jeb said, only for Glitch to go “Oooh, me!” and raise a hand. He paused, and shrugged at the looks he was getting. “I was fourteen. Seemed like a good idea at the time.”
“What haven’t you done?” DG asked.
“I don’t think you want him to answer that,” Cain muttered, earning a snicker from Glitch, which then in turn earned Glitch a smack in the chest. “Besides, the most cat-like one of us is being fairly quiet.”
At which, four pairs of eyes turned to one very bashful Viewer, sitting on a log. Almost curled up on it, actually. DG stood up and carefully sat herself down next to him, smiling. “Are you feeling alright?”
She didn’t get a response, only eyes looking straight into her.
“Almost a shadow,” he muttered, and hesitantly held a hand out to her. “Viewers see what is.”
“If you touch, he’ll be able to get into your mind,” Glitch said quietly.
“But you’re not going to hurt me, are you?” DG smiled at the Viewer, who nodded hesitantly. “Can you tell me your name first?”
“Hime-” Glitch began, but before the name was even out of his mouth the Viewer leaned down, tracing the word RAW into the riverbank.
“Your name’s Raw?” she asked, and earned a nod. DG smiled, and held out a hand. “It’s very nice to meet you then, Raw.”
Hesitantly, Raw took her hand, only to freeze, pale skin going even paler. “Nothing but whispers and blue,” he choked out.
“DG drop your shields,” Glitch said, immediately at her side. DG just stared at him vacantly, so he grabbed her by the chin, forcing her to focus on him. “Hime, drop your shields or you’ll kill the both of you.” Still no response, so he went to the last resort as Raw’s hand literally began to sizzle. “NOW, Princess!”
“Mmm,” DG nodded, and dropped them for the first time in her entire life.
Glitch was blasted away by the pure, furious power, landing sprawled on the riverbank unconscious. Jeb, despite all his efforts to remain dry, was thrown back into the water, gasping when he came up for air, and Cain skidded across the bank, hat barely caught as the Light swirled around them. It wasn’t violent, it was just…uncontrolled. No harm, no cruelty inside of it, just a sudden freedom that it didn’t understand or know.
Raw, however, wasn’t blasted away. He was talking so fast that Cain could barely keep up with the words.
“Two of darkness and two of light the two suns the two moons two sisters both full of gray the uncontrollable maelstrom the pure shadow conflicting with the Light a vibrant light and all around you red and indecision but the constant loyalty and love so much love for those around you so much compassion a hard edge of trials and guilt and decisive indecision but the storm is coming and you are only part of the storm but you are the part that hurts and is hurt loves and is loved wounds that is wounded,” Raw was gibbering off, eyes suddenly a bright blue, seeing nothing. “The storm of silver and green that will either tear the OZ apart with dark gusts or cleanse it with pure wind-”
Raw fell off the log, panting, the blue that had possessed his eyes transferring back to DG. Jeb had climbed back out of the water, Cain’s head was still ringing like someone had decided it’d make a very nice gong, and Glitch was still sprawled on the riverbank, mouth open, eyes closed.
The power shut off abruptly, and they all paused, even Raw, at the strange, sudden feeling of loss. DG remained seated on the log, pointedly not looking at anyone and actually sitting like a proper lady, one ankle tucked behind the other, shoulders and spine straight, but her head bowed.
“I’m sorry,” she said quietly.
Jeb was already hoisting Glitch up, checking his head. He looked over at Cain. “Mild concussion,” he said. “He’ll be fine.”
“We won’t be,” Cain sighed, picking himself off the ground. “Azkadellia had to have felt that. We need to move.” He glanced at DG. “Where to?”
“Orchards to the hidden world,” she quoted with a sigh. “We’re headed for the Realm of the Unwanted.”
“You two always pick the nicest places to visit,” Jeb rolled his eyes.
She just frowned, finally looking at them. “I’ll just make it a bit quicker, then.”
“DG, no-” Cain managed to get out, but it was already too late. DG’s hands clashed together, and they disappeared.
---
Azkadellia was still gasping, clutching her chest at the sudden feeling of power swarming her from a riverside, only for it to cut off with a flicker of power that was headed further south, past even the Gap.
Extremely powerful magic, so powerful it could do incredibly long-distance travel. She was still panting, her attendant and Zero looking at her like she’d grown a second head.
“I thought he was dead,” she whispered, eyes wide. “I thought I saw him die.” No, he had to be dead. Even her Mother had said…had said that cryptic remark.
A storm was coming for her. And it was powerful enough that even from this far away she was still left shivering.
“Sorceress?” her attendant asked. “Do you need anything?”
“Answers,” she hissed. “Summon the head archivist.” The attendant cleared his throat, and she remembered that she’d already killed him. “…surely there must be a new head archivist.”
“There is his head assistant,” her attendant nodded, and left. Which was rather convenient.
“Zero, you have always been a devoted and trustworthy man to my plans,” she said coolly.
“And I intend to stay that way, Sorceress,” he said respectfully…but with a smirk. He wasn’t as respectful as he could have been, but the results he usually got were good enough that she could deal with a little disrespect. “How may I serve you?”
She pulled out a map, immediately pointing to the exact location where she’d felt that fading flicker of raw power reappear. “Get over there as quickly as you can. Capture anyone you find.” The magical person (the storm, that terrified bit of her whispered) couldn’t have gotten far after that much power usage. “They’ll be stopped there for a while. Considering it’s halfway to the Realm of the Unwanted, we can assume that’s their destination.”
And halfway to Finaqua. But she wasn’t thinking about that. Finaqua was gone, destroyed, nothing left but a single swing among the darkness and the trees. She had scorched it from every map, every person’s memory, from anything and everything that could lead someone there. Finaqua was gone, and it would remain that way. But still…but still…
There was no storm. There was nothing out to get her. Ambrose was dead, her Mother and what little power she’d had left at the end was imprisoned. She was unstoppable. Even getting the Emerald of the Eclipse was practically unnecessary. She had everything she could possibly need.
i want the darkness i want night i want the darkness
And you’ll get it, Azkadellia responded, hearing the voice practically purr at the words.
“Catch them, and bring them straight to me,” she said, returning to Zero and finding whatever that power had been. “They should be weak, very weak.” She rolled up the map, and looked him straight in the eye. “Bind their hands. Bind them as tightly as you can without injury, understand?”
“As you wish, Sorceress, but it will take us at least a day to reach the Realm of the Unwanted,” Zero said. He was efficient. She appreciated that.
“Which is why I want you leaving as soon as possible,” she said, and paused. Nearly wincing, she pulled the map back out, and pointed. “I want you personally, along with your most trusted men, to head for this area. It’s the only other destination they might have in mind, and I doubt it will be where they go, but I don’t want to take any chances with this. This is vitally important, Zero, do you understand that?”
“Yes, Sorceress,” he said, bowing. “I’ll have my troops ready to go as quickly as possible.”
“Make that even faster,” she said, and dismissed him, turning to the window that looked out on the bleak landscape she had created.
A storm was coming. But she’d make sure that she was that storm.
Azkadellia didn’t even turn towards the quivering archivist that her attendant brought in.
“I want the royal family’s genealogy as quickly as you can get it. The entirety of it.” She paused. “Also, look up any references of very large red wooden columns.”
Gibbering something, the archivist left the room, and Azkadellia sat back down at her desk, horrified that some tiny part of her, some part she hadn’t even known existed until that dream, was actually some foolish seed of hope.
“Storms and seeds don’t work too well together,” Azkadellia said coolly, and concentrated on the things in the world not related to her paranoia.
---
It felt very, very strange to have both DG and Glitch out of commission, even if it was temporary. Raw seemed to be coming out of his terror of…well, everything, to be frank. Even taken to talking with Jeb in that halting, difficult voice, as if he spoke another language than Basic but understood it completely. His son still looked like a drowned rat, which was pretty funny, but Jeb kept giving him that ‘you’re my DAD, you’re not supposed to find this funny’ look.
Cain blamed it on Glitch. After all, the man had laughed at DG plenty of times back when they were with the Resistance. But then again, their connection wasn’t biological.
…but Jeb did need to loosen up, and it really was funny. So he ignored the look and kept on grinning at his son’s poor state of dress, his beloved red scarf the only thing he’d had the time to wring out safely, considering they had no idea where DG had taken them or who could be around and they weren’t about to take any chances. Even Raw had put himself on watch around the dark-haired duo.
“We should get some sleep,” Jeb said quietly. “We’re all exhausted, the suns are setting, and if we’re going into the Realm tomorrow-”
“I know, son,” Cain sighed. “I just don’t like the idea of leaving them vulnerable like this.”
Jeb gave him a very strange look. “Did you pay any attention to the Kage when we were there?” He started to speak, only to be interrupted. “Aside from Hana.”
Cain opened his mouth. Then he closed his mouth, and rubbed his forehead. “Not really, no.”
“They’ll be fine. Glitch’s concussion is mild enough he shouldn’t even have a problem if he goes to sleep, it’s more like the magic knocked him out and he’s…coping, I guess.”
“Since when are you a doctor?” Cain asked, amused.
“Since I paid attention to the Kage,” Jeb said dryly.
He really should have seen that one coming. “So they’ll both be okay is what you’re saying.”
“Magical overload for Glitch, magic depletion for DG,” he said. “Raw’s a Viewer, so he could luckily just channel the charge into his power.”
“Which we couldn’t do.”
Jeb nodded, sitting next to his father. “Normal, boring humans in the company of two Kage, one a Princess with enough magic to take down buildings, the other a…well, whatever Glitch is since I know he’s more than just a Kage, and a very talented Viewer.”
“Wouldn’t that make us interesting instead of boring?” Cain asked wryly, Jeb frowning at him. “With the company we keep, you have to wonder why we’re here.”
“Heart of silver, lord of tin,” Raw said from nearby, making them both turn to look at him. He nodded. “Family of iron. Strong heart, stronger will.” He smiled a bit shyly. “Not boring or common humans. Good men.”
“…thanks, Raw,” Cain said sincerely, and Raw simply nodded, moving back to his position – a bit separated from the four others but close enough that he was still part of the group. Cain turned to look at Jeb. “Get some sleep.”
Jeb just nodded, stretched out, and shut his eyes.
Cain paused, but walked over to sit next to Glitch. He hesitated for a moment – there was still that strange tingle around him – but lay down next to the other man anyway, not touching, but close enough to hear him breathing.
“Another reason not boring human,” Raw said quietly.
Cain frowned at him. “What do you mean?”
But Raw didn’t answer, simply curled up comfortably, silent as Cain lay there, listening to Glitch breathe, and wondering.
---
Ambrose woke up very…fuzzy. That didn’t make much sense to him, but then again not much seemed to anymore. He was staring up at trees and the moon above them, feeling fuzzy and tingly and like he’d forgotten something.
“…morning, Glitch,” someone yawned next to him, and Ambrose – no, GLITCH, DG’s Glitch, had been for 15 annuals – how could he have forgotten all of this? He shot up, staring, looking around him.
To his left, DG was sitting next to Jeb, Raw nearby and smiling, looking content, and Cain was stretched out next to him.
“Why did I forget all of this?” Glitch whispered, a hand over his forehead as he glanced around. “We’re headed for the Realm of the Unwanted, she let her shields down to stop from killing her and Raw and…how did I forget all this?”
“You okay?” Cain asked, frowning at his side.
Glitch shook his head, looking around. “We’re going for a walk,” he said, for some reason knowing not to touch anyone. That tingly feeling told him that.
“…Sweet-”
“Ambrose,” he said, cutting Cain off and leaving him blinking as realization flashed onto his face.
When they were a good distance away, Glitch sat down, frowning. “When I woke up, I thought I was twenty and asleep in my labs.” He grimaced. “I thought of myself as AMBROSE, not her glitch, didn’t even remember any of it until I looked around.” Glitch looked up at him. “What happened to me?”
“Jeb and DG say you got a magic overload or…something,” Cain said, trying to explain to the best of his ability. “You’ve still got some stuck inside of you according to DG. She was pretty worried.”
“That doesn’t explain my brain regressing fifteen annuals, Cain,” Ambrose snapped. “Unless there’s some reason that I would have magic triggered inside of me at twenty when I was sleeping in my lab, which I’m pretty sure is a…”
Falling asleep in the lab. Waking up with the Queen next to him, summoning him as a Shadow Advisor and starting this whole thing.
“You remembered something,” Cain said simply, looking at him all lovingly and worried and it nearly broke his heart.
“She did something to me,” he whispered. “The Queen DID something to me! She…that…that…she did something!”
Ambrose took a deep breath, and then started roaring out profanity in Kageri, close to tearing out his hair. Cain was trying to figure some way out to calm him down when he couldn’t touch him, and ended up just talking.
“Whatever she did it had to be for a good reason, you know that,” he said hurriedly.
“But I trusted her! I literally gave up everything for that…that…argh!” The Kageri profanity started up again, and he turned, glaring at Cain. “She betrayed me somehow! She did something to me, she used magic on me, and I don’t even know what it was, what it was meant to do, why she would do something like that to…to me! And I still can’t even bring myself to insult her!”
“What’s all that Kageri been, then?” Cain asked.
“Swearing at absolutely nothing but getting a good bit of profanity out,” Ambrose growled, and slumped down onto the ground, hunched and still looking very, very pissed off. “I can’t believe she’d betray me like this, Cain. I poured every ounce of devotion into her and the royal family, and she did something to me without even asking.”
“You would have said yes though,” Cain said.
“Probably,” Ambrose admitted with a sigh, leaning back against a tree. “I just…all these years. You know I love DG, wouldn’t give away our time for anything in the world.” He paused. “Well, except maybe not even needing to have that time.”
“But you know whatever the Queen did to you wasn’t meant to harm you,” Cain said softly. “Admit it, Sweetheart, you’re just feeling hurt she didn’t tell you.”
“She could have told me anything,” he sighed, a wry smile coming onto his face. “I was giving her marriage advice when I was seventeen.”
“That’s strange, but then again so are you,” Cain said lightly, earning a rough, hoarse chuckle from the man beside him. “I was a brand new Tin Man when I was seventeen. Bashing doors in, chasing thieves, breaking up vapor dens…”
“Ah, the good old days,” Ambrose snickered, only to groan. At Cain’s worried look, he sighed. “DG’s on her way.”
“With all that cursing, I’m not surprised. I’d come running too.”
“Yes, but you wouldn’t give me a lecture on hypocrisy,” Glitch whined, and Cain let out a small breath at the fact Ambrose was back to being Glitch before DG showed up. He paused. “Thanks, Cain.”
“Anytime, Sweetheart,” Cain smiled.
Glitch groaned. “Oh gods, not now. This whole tingly business would fry you…although that rock over there is-”
“Glitch,” Cain snapped, very much Not Blushing, and Glitch laughed as DG came tearing into the clearing, staff already out.
“Hey, Deeg!” Glitch smiled at her, waving enthusiastically. “You feeling alright? Cain told me about the clapping distance this time. You shouldn’t overexert yourself like that, you know-”
“I come in here hearing you spouting things that…that I doubt even HALF of the Kage would be able to stomach, and you’re just…just…”
“Chatting?” Glitch offered, standing up with a smile.
“More like having a private conversation,” Cain said, and Glitch couldn’t help but look back and give him a grateful glance, which got him a wink. Oooh, he really wished the tingly magic thing would go away soon. He loved those winks. “He…overreacted.”
“Well that’s a bit of an understatement,” DG said dryly, and glared at Glitch. “Especially from someone who won’t even let me get a single curse word out-”
“You’re a princess! It’s improper!” Glitch defended.
“Besides, what could possibly make my Glitch overreact that much?!” DG snapped. “He nearly died and didn’t go off like that! We get Longcoats invading the town we’re living in and he just goes quiet! We get bandits and he just sighs! What the HELL-”
“Language!” Glitch snapped, only to get a glare that could have seared a hole into the mountains. He glared right back, but…less so.
Cain thought very, very fast. He knew Glitch would rather die than have DG see the darker sides of him – even when he’d been drugged he almost hadn’t been able to take the guilt. Think, Tin Man, think, Wyatt Cain, think…
Wyatt Cain. Hana’s voice, sharp and firm. “You aren’t leaving yet, Wyatt Cain.”
He blinked, and reached into his breast pocket.
“This.”
He held up the weird-looking red pendant Hana had shoved into his pocket when they were leaving, praying to whatever was up there that it meant something other than ‘thanks’ to the Kage.
Their jaws dropped, their eyes widened, and Cain really hoped he hadn’t just screwed everything up.
“Hana gave you blah blah blah?!” DG gasped. Cain really needed to learn Kageri. “Oh gods, no WONDER! This is fantastic!” She swept Cain into a hug, which he returned a bit hesitantly. “Oh, wow. Wait until I tell Jeb, he’ll…oh wow. I still can’t believe she gave you blah blah blah!” Her grin was a mile wide. “I’m so happy for you.”
“…that means a lot to me, DG,” Cain said, wondering if he had just made a really big mistake or had a miraculously good idea.
“I should leave you two to your private conversation then,” she grinned, and gave a big smile to Glitch (apparently she couldn’t hug him either, since she made a very big but aborted effort to do so) before practically skipping off.
“…what did I just do?” Cain asked, voice a bit higher than usual.
Glitch sunk to the ground, face in his hands. “Ohhh, nothing, just showed you had my mother’s blessing to marry me and imply that you were proposing.”
And the forest was deadly silent.
“Oh. Well, if that’s all,” Cain said.
Glitch gaped as Cain shrugged.
“If even Hana thinks it’s a good idea, why not?” Cain grinned.
“Cain, I don’t think you understand,” Glitch said, eyes wide. “This is marriage. And not just any marriage, with that pendant it’s a Kage-sanctioned marriage.”
Cain frowned, hands on his hips. “I was married once before, I think I understand the concept, Glitch.”
“Not a KAGE marriage, though!” Glitch shouted out. “It involves blood rituals! Burning someone’s house down! An eternally binding contract, Cain! Kage believe in reincarnation, and that means that next time you show up, you would be TRAPPED with me. Stuck with me, ME, no matter how many times we die and come back and die again. This is why not very many Kage get married, Cain, did you ever notice that? People have husbands and wives and so on but that’s pretty much you go say “We agree to live together and be monogamous”, not…MARRIED. You ask a husband or wife if they’re MARRIED? They’ll pale at the thought! A KAGE will be AFRAID of it!”
Cain blinked. “So Kage are afraid of commitment?”
“Don’t you get it?!” Glitch was practically screaming. “You use that thing and even in THIS life we’re trapped together!”
“Marriage isn’t a trap, Glitch,” Cain snapped. “And if you don’t want to, just SAY so! Don’t cover it up with all these Kage rituals!”
“You asked ACCIDENTALLY, Cain!” Glitch snapped right back. “Did you even think about it when DG left? You saved me from hurting her, yes-”
“But somehow I managed to hurt you by asking you to marry me.”
Glitch’s face was back in his hands. “What name would you even be saying ‘I do’ to, Cain?”
“All seven of them, now stop feeling sorry for yourself,” Cain sighed, rubbing at his forehead. Again. “We can go back, tell them we’re big boys and can deal with not being married-”
“Who said no?” Glitch frowned.
“YOU JUST DID,” Cain shouted, pointing at him. “Gods, if you weren’t all…fizzly or whatever right now-”
“It’s not my fault I’m fizzly right now! And I just…do you understand how serious that sort of thing is to Kage?”
“Glitch, it wouldn’t have to be a Kage-sanctioned-” Cain began, only to stare as Glitch pulled up his shirts to show off his Mark.
The thing was glowing bright red, searing into his flesh, and Cain noticed that it was the exact same shade of red as the pendant in his hand.
“Oh yes it would,” Ambrose said darkly. “In case you’ve forgotten, Cain, I am Kage, and there’s no other form of marriage for a Kage when you’re asked with a blah blah blah in the other party’s hand.”
“I don’t speak Kageri, Ambrose!” Cain snapped.
“It’s not a translatable word, Cain!” He yanked the shirts back down. “Just…understand what you’d be getting yourself into. Even if you met your wife again, even if you’ve got some soul mate wandering around out there that you’ve never met, it’d always be me. Always.”
Cain was utterly silent. Glitch was red-faced and panting. The Mark was searing into him, hurting more than it had ever hurt him in his entire life.
“You’re a very, very strange man,” Cain said very carefully. “But what you never are is boring, or stupid, or uncaring, or even uninteresting. I was planning on spending as much of a life as I get with you anyway. I was hoping we’d get married somewhere down the road, even, when I thought you’d be okay with having me for a husband.” He paused. “If it’s always or never, I pick always.”
Glitch blinked. “What?”
Cain smiled. “I’m asking you to marry me forever, Tomo-Spiral-Ambrose-Glitch-Sessha-Joat-Sweetheart.”
“…you’re the only person who knows all seven, you know,” Glitch whispered, clutching a hand to the mark.
“That’s not an answer.”
“I’m trying to decide if you really know what you’re getting into if I say yes.”
“So you’re not saying no.”
“Well, no I guess…”
“Which is what answer, Ex-Advisor?”
“FINE!” Glitch snapped. “Yes! I’ll marry you! Now stop acting smarter than me!”
“Good,” Cain grinned, and started to walk off, twirling the pendant around a finger.
Glitch stared after him. “And I’m the weird one in this couple?!”
“Must be a social disease,” Cain called back, making Glitch grimace as he caught up with his fiancée.
“You’re disgusting and scary when you’re in a good mood,” Glitch muttered.
“No, only when I’m in a good mood and can’t touch you.” He frowned. “We really need to get rid of that…fizzy thing.”
“You have no idea,” Glitch grumbled.
“I wouldn’t bet on that,” Cain muttered, and they walked back to what was masquerading as their camp.
---
Zero was, to put it mildly, really surprised when the scouts came back.
“They’re still there?” he asked, disbelief evident in his voice.
The scout nodded. “Five of them. One woman, one Viewer, three men.”
“Making lunch.”
“Yes, sir, making lunch,” the scout nodded again. “And chatting.”
Zero’s brow crinkled. Either they were idiots who had no idea they were being chased, or it was some very strange form of ambush, or it was…hell, he didn’t even know what the third option was. This was beyond strange. Azkadellia had left him mentally prepared for the chase and the fight of his life, and they were just sitting around?
“Orders, sir?” one of the higher-ranking Longcoats asked, and Zero grinned, walking out of the tent and hopping up onto his horse.
“We take them all,” he grinned. “Silent signals only, surround them and take them. Tranquilize anyone you see about to clap their hands together.”
“Ah, sir?” the scout interjected, and Zero looked over at him. “They seemed to be…celebrating. There was a lot of clapping.”
He smirked. “Then we just tranquilize all of them.”
---
Glitch and DG froze for a moment while Jeb was gracious enough to cook something he’d hunted and skinned nearby for lunch when they heard the crack of feet on a distant rock.
“Scouts,” Glitch stated, loud enough for all of them to hear, and DG nodded. “Longcoats. We should have moved – Azkadellia must have felt when you dropped your shields and probably traced the magical residue back to our landing point after you decided it’d be a good idea to go and clap us away.”
“It was a good idea-”
“Where’s my pack?” Glitch asked, and DG froze.
“You were sleeping on top of it,” Jeb said, turning his tiny makeshift spit, much to Raw’s amusement.
“Please don’t,” DG whispered, reaching for Glitch’s arm, only to wince as the magic flashed against her, striking like an electric whip.
“I’m sorry, Hime, but you know it’s the easiest way to get out of this,” Glitch said patiently.
“What’s the easiest way?” Cain asked.
“Fear,” Glitch said simply, and walked away. “The scouts have all gone back to report.” He gave them all a smile. “Time for a costume change. DG, do you think you could take it easier than usual and take us to the Realm one by one in case it gets bad?”
“Yes, Glitch,” she nodded, a lifetime of obeying her glitch in these situations because her glitch always got them out okay snapping into place.
He paused. “Oh, and I made another addition to your staff for when the run’s over. You’ll know what to do with it then. May throw your balance off for a minute while you adapt, but nothing serious.”
“Yes, Glitch,” she said again.
“What’s going on?” Cain frowned. Glitch paused, and then nodded.
“Follow me, then,” he said simply, and Cain complied, following as Glitch swerved through the trees and opened up his pack, heading straight for the very bottom of it and pulling out a tattered bit that Cain recognized immediately. Glitch looked up at him. “Oh, so you saw the sixteenth disk too?”
“What? How’d-”
“DG knowing exactly where we’re going and rolling her eyes any time someone asks what the route is,” Glitch said with a faint smile, and started stripping, putting the outfit on one piece at a time. He smirked at Cain, slipping into the darkest side of Ambrose. “Mentioned our encounter in it, too.”
“You did?” Cain frowned, but only got that smirk in return now that the entire outfit was on.
Ambrose strode right back to the camp in the dirty ensemble, Cain at his heels as the dark-haired man started talking. “DG, you take Raw first. We’re not making a stand here, we’re not fighting here, we’re just putting on a show and going.” DG nodded, already knowing how these tended to go. “For those of you who haven’t done this before, that means I’m pulling the strings.” He paused. “Actually, DG, take Raw and Jeb. I don’t want a Viewer alone in the Realm. He’d get sold into slavery before you can snap unless someone else is there with them. Conserve your energy by forcing them to hold on to you physically.” DG nodded again, and when Jeb looked like he was going to protest, Ambrose glared at him, hard.
“Now, basic plan. Mad crazy laughter from me during the whole thing, DG keeps her head down when she’s attacking, and Cain shoots anything coming from above. No more Mobat venom.” They all nodded.
“Good, now DG, get Raw and Jeb out of here. We’ve got five minutes probably - you can find the door and get in and back by then. Then you take Cain, and then you take me, since you can’t touch me.”
DG nodded, and immediately put one of Raw’s hands on one shoulder and one of Jeb’s on the other.
“Dad-” Jeb shouted, but with a clap they were already gone.
“Well that went well,” Glitch said, not a trace of Ambrose in him. “Sorry about this. I figure I can take care of you better than trying to help DG and the rest go on an easy run like that. Plus, this way Azkadellia will be too busy to care about Deeg.”
“What do you mean?” Cain asked a bit frantically.
“Surrender or die!” Someone shouted from the woods.
“Oh, those are fun words, aren’t they?” The darkest Ambrose cooed loudly, and a horse walked its way out, the rider blond and a Longcoat staring at them both like he’d just been smacked in the face by a two year old for giving the kid candy. “Well, if it isn’t the messenger boy.”
“Zero,” Cain hissed.
And that was all they got out before the tranquilizers hit them.
---
...yeah, cliffhanger.
