Distract me please.

[luchia]

Go here and find a good summary. Comment with it, and fandom recasting shall commence! Or just mockery if it's a really good one.

My personal favorite so far:

From the moment he sees Abbey at a charity fashion show, Russian tycoon Nikolai Arlov wants every inch of that curvy, creamy body. When she refuses him, he mercilessly switches tactics, aiming straight for her vulnerable heart….

With her family's business in serious trouble, Abbey knows Nikolai's money is their only hope. She submits to his lethal brand of seduction and blackmail—ready and willing to do anything he desires. Only, Nikolai has no idea his reluctant mistress is…a virgin.

HOMIGOD, A VIRGIN? HOWEVER WILL THIS PLOT TWIST TURN OUT?!

The title's The Ruthless Magnate's Virgin Mistress. Try saying that five times fast, ouch.

Comments

Spies, Lies, and Naked Thighs, oh my!

[kseda.livejournal.com]

Breezy Malone has left her cautious archaeologist's life behind, only to be poured into a leather corset and demand that bad guys ask—no, beg—for mercy in her new gig as a covert agent for the FBI. A covert sex agent, to be exact.

Not that she's given much choice. The FBI is dangling the ultimate carrot—if she can use her seduction skills to trace an ancient, stolen artifact, it'll lead her to Sharif, the terrorist who framed her for a murder that landed her in a Middle East prison. Now she's prepared to break any rule to make sure Sharif pays.

But a mysterious and alluring agent called One-Eyed Jack is on her tail, and Breezy's not sure if he's friend, foe or something even more dangerous…a sensual distraction aimed at throwing her off her guard. She'll show him who's in control.…

I need to not be using this icon. But like I can resist.

[theempress14.livejournal.com]

I only picked this one for the epic over-the-top Twilight-esque angst fail that will undoubtedly result:

The Devil to Pay

After the devil Himself claims Ivan Drake's soul on his twenty-first birthday, the vampire phoenix has no choice but to enforce his wicked rule. But when the devil sends him to claim the Book of All Spells, the last thing Ivan expects is to square off with its gorgeous protector, the witch Dez Merevech—or to be so attracted to her.

To retrieve the book might end the escalating war between the witches and the vampires, but to take it from Dez will ensure her death. With the fate of the paranormal world hanging in the balance, Ivan must choose wisely—and quickly.