IT'S AN INFOMERCIAL SMACKDOWN, BABY.

[luchia]

We've all seen the ShamWow infomercial, right? Right. The new golden boy of infomercials, Vince, pitches like the pro he is, to the point where I actually kind of get excited if someone actually has a ShamWow! WELL. A few years back, ex-golden boy Billy Mays made a commercial for Zorbeez, which is more or less the ShamWow of 2005. Exciting, right? Seems like that's a normal thing. It's like Coke vs Diet Coke in the world of shamis.

BUT IS THAT THE REAL ISSUE HERE?!

OHHHH, YOU HEARD THAT RIGHT. WE GOT OURSELVES A PITCH-OFF, BABY. This isn't a matter of copyright law, OH no! This is a matter of PRIDE as an INFOMERCIAL SALESMAN!! Battle of the Century, Y/HELL Y?

According to Popular Mechanics, ShamWow is the superior product, but that's not the real story here.

Comments

[kseda.livejournal.com]

THIS GIVES ME OPPORTUNITY TO TELL A "So the roommate and I were getting shitfaced at the pub..." STORY!

So the roommate and I were getting shitfaced at the pub, and the pub has TVs all over the place and EVERYONE IN THE BAR became obsessed with the ShamWow AND the Snuggies AND the SlapChop commercials.

Anyway, quite randomly we start talking with our beloved bartender Thiago about how this father pulled his fifth grader out of school because the boy was SO GOOD at Guitar Hero that he would CERTAINLY be set for life. I proposed that the kid should learn to play a REAL guitar and try THAT instead.

Thiago: "Nah, pretty soon we'll all be watching bands playing Rock Band instead of real instruments."
Me: "Yeah. And the audience won't actually dance, they'll just have Dance Dance Revolution mats."
Thiago: "Yep. And they will all be wearing Snuggies. Made out of ShamWow."
Terry the Roommate: "...that's terrifying."

So yeah. That's my life, more or less.

[luchia13.livejournal.com]

I need a "I'm laughing hysterically" icon to use right now. A SUPERB "so the roommate and I were getting shitfaced at the pub" story, it really really is. I guess Airofday pretending to be Santa will have to do. ♥

ALSO ALSO ALSO I GOT TO THAT PART OF SOUL EATER THAT YOUR ICON'S FROM and it needs to stop eating my souuulll. There needs to be more time in the day. But we have badassery approaching on Bleach at least. And I get to see my happy masochist'n'sadist OTP be canonically shippy with one another! YAY!

AND. My Hinduism professor? She's the creepily nice Othersider twin of Hana, but with short hair and glasses BECAUSE HANA NEEDS NOT YOUR WEAK GLASSES. It's kind of creeping me out, which is ridiculous.

[kseda.livejournal.com]

HEE, I will have to try and remember more. There are some nights where it just gets epic, like when we were sitting around the table and there was random silence and our friend Sean quiet suddenly decided to raep our other friend Mike's nostril with a French fry while gleefully declaring "French fry goes here!" And we laughed for months.

(Mike frequently gets molested. The token Old Man At The Bar Nicknamed Fast Eddie once got handsy with him while informing us of Bryer's ice cream being on sale at Shop Rite. Later Sean dared me to dance with Fast Eddie (or Ice Cream Guy) in exchange for my next drink being on him. GUESS WHO'S A WHORE FOR VODKA.)

Oh, Soul Eater, I don't even KNOW, man. *loves on all of it so hard* On the one hand it's all "LOL!" and on the other it just made from pure-driven PAIN and eeee!

...and that is just crazy awesome, man.

[luchia13.livejournal.com]

Truly, you have stories made of wtf-win.

I KEEP SHOUTING AT STEIN. "Don't go crazyyyyy!" is apparently the new "Hug, dammit!"

It's creepy. I keep staring at her and expecting something very ninja-y to happen.

[kseda.livejournal.com]

.....HOLD THE PHONE. Vince the ShamWow guy has been arrested for beating up a hooker (http://community.livejournal.com/ontd_political/2671367.html). What the SHIT, universe?

[sucuri.livejournal.com]

I have a ShamWow. :) I also have a strange crush on Vince. :(

[luchia13.livejournal.com]

DOES IT DRIP IF YOU SHAKE IT? Can you just suck up water with it and wring it out and other awesome infomercial things?! :D

Vince is very, very passionate about absorbancy. I can't imagine what he'd be like about something he LOVES. Vince talking about his cats/dogs/penguins/etc would be awesome. Aaaand now I'm gonna end up scrounging YouTube for more Vince from ShamWow videos, in the hopes of seeing him be super-passionate about something he's pitching for pure pleasure. Like kitties.

[sucuri.livejournal.com]

Yes, actually. It's one of the most magical things I have ever used to dry my dishes with. It's hilarious, and whenever I get through an entire day's worth of dishes without drips and crap on my counters, I always say a half-ironic "wow!" And then I feel like an idiot.

LOOK UP THE SLAPCHOP, PLS. YOU WON'T REGRET IT. You'll love Vince's nuts, and you'll stop having a boring life. Oh God, I typed that.

[luchia13.livejournal.com]

My sister told me the story of how she went to a very boring party that was immediately improved when the guy pulled out not one, not two, but THREE ShamWows, at which point everyone started playing with them in a happy, drunk sort of way.

I WILL. And then I will totally get back to you. Oh, Vince. ♥